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The Working Dead

Everybody’s gotta make a living


I’ve just spent 25 minutes locked in a basement, having to call a friend to look up my boss in the phonebook to get him come get me out, have got yelled at by a 80 year old dude foaming at the mouth, with said foam flying out at my face, had a 60 year old woman show me her bare, 1 hour fresh scarred chest to explain that she can’t shower because she just had surgery done (I work in a hotel opposite a hospital), and got electrocuted. It’s my first day.

Work Sucks - I got electrocuted

How bad could your day have really been?

I make grocery store ads. Every now and then we do special deals and I send out an email to the clients asking if they want to participate. Every time I do this almost half the clients print my email, circle their answer (“yes” or “no”), and fax it back to me. The other half email back “ok”.

Work Sucks - Fax back

I work in a drugstore. One day this guy in his twenties comes in, picks up some normal male condoms, and comes to the counter. He said, “Don’t worry, these are for my girlfriend.”

I edit porn for a living. Checkmate.

I work in a sneaker store. This huge fat guy comes in with huge feet at least size 12. He then points out different sneakers and asks for them all in size 7, and proceeds to try them all on. Try explaining 50 brand new shoes with squashed heels and torn laces to your boss.

Work Sucks - You’re not a size 7.

This creepy old lady says to me at the grocery store I work at, “hey, cutie, keeping all the girls happy?” I don’t respond out of shock and she jumps to the conclusion, “or all the boys?”. I quickly respond no and ask if there’s anything I can get her. She replies, “you.” This is nearly a daily interaction with her for me and several other guys that work at the store.

i started working at byerly’s a few weeks ago. my manager thinks i look like Justin Bieber so he insitsts on telling every customer “you know we’ve got Justin Bieber working here”…every time a customer tells me I look like him [Bieber] i die a little inside.

So here I am serving customers at KFC and this woman asks: “How many pieces of chicken do I get in a 21 piece pack?” When I tell her its 21 she then asks: “How much is the 9 pieces for $9.95” So I just walk away because I can’t.

Work Sucks - Working at Fastfood Chain

…so what’s the answer?

I worked in a lumber yard at a hardware store. A customer bought some propane, so they sent it over the radio to notify me that my services were needed to fill the tank. I was at the opposite side of the yard, so it took a couple of minutes to get to the propane tank. The guy immediately starts screaming at me for waiting so long, said “you’re an effing idiot an will never make anything of yourself because you’re a propane jockey” (whatever that means). I was getting my masters in business at the time btw. As he’s walking away he turns to an elderly lady that was in the parking lot and said “what’s with these effing idiots?” The lady came up to me and said “that was the minister at my parish…..”

I just had a customer call for tech support on how to spell Google.

Work Sucks: Hello, tech support?

Are there 2 o’s or 3?

New Names for 12 Common Items [Continue Reading]

New Names for 12 Common Items [Continue Reading]

Construction Worker Gets Wet

He normally has a much dryer sense of humor.


I worked at a popular franchise restaurant and came up with some of the greatest excuses known to man or woman for being late. Of the best was one day when I came in for a shift and had missed the 8 am meeting. The manager came to me and said “You’d better have a damned good reason for missing the meeting the morning.” I told him with a straight face ” Sir. I woke up this morning duct taped to a lawn chair. It took me to 9 to work out of the tape. I got here as soon as possible.” The guy never looked at me the same again.

I work at an indoor science museum/amusement park. One of our exhibits is Titanic themed, and this one lady with a very thick country accent starts to tell me how I kinda look like Rose from Titanic (I’m a redhead and pretty pale). She then goes on to say that I am her ghost and then tells me IN DETAIL how I was so lucky to have Jack, and how sorry she was that I had to go through all of that and lose Jack.