“I worked in a lumber yard at a hardware store. A customer bought some propane, so they sent it over the radio to notify me that my services were needed to fill the tank. I was at the opposite side of the yard, so it took a couple of minutes to get to the propane tank. The guy immediately starts screaming at me for waiting so long, said “you’re an effing idiot an will never make anything of yourself because you’re a propane jockey” (whatever that means). I was getting my masters in business at the time btw. As he’s walking away he turns to an elderly lady that was in the parking lot and said “what’s with these effing idiots?” The lady came up to me and said “that was the minister at my parish…..”

“I just had a customer call for tech support on how to spell Google.”

“I worked at a popular franchise restaurant and came up with some of the greatest excuses known to man or woman for being late. Of the best was one day when I came in for a shift and had missed the 8 am meeting. The manager came to me and said “You’d better have a damned good reason for missing the meeting the morning.” I told him with a straight face ” Sir. I woke up this morning duct taped to a lawn chair. It took me to 9 to work out of the tape. I got here as soon as possible.” The guy never looked at me the same again.”

“I work at an indoor science museum/amusement park. One of our exhibits is Titanic themed, and this one lady with a very thick country accent starts to tell me how I kinda look like Rose from Titanic (I’m a redhead and pretty pale). She then goes on to say that I am her ghost and then tells me IN DETAIL how I was so lucky to have Jack, and how sorry she was that I had to go through all of that and lose Jack.”

“Today, a woman threatened to call corporate and have me fired from my cashier job because the barcode on a greeting card wouldn’t scan at my register. The card had a Bible verse on the front.”

“I was once denied a raise on a yearly review because I need to “smile more” at work.”

“I got hired at a factory recently. I work 10 hours in the sun and sweat my ass off, and i’m pretty sure all of my coworkers are either high school drop outs or convicts. On the first day one of them asked me if i have clean hands. i said yes so he took me to the back of the plant, dropped his pants and said, “can you hold this for me?”
September 21, 2012”

“I work at a flying J truck stop as maintenance, I pretty much clean up, and fix random stuff. Yesterday I get called up to the front desk and get asked the following question “How good are you at running prostitutes off?”. At least I can put that on my resume.”

“One time when I was working at a grocery store an old lady kept complaining that the bag I put her milk in was too heavy. The problem was, the milk was the only item in the bag, and I couldn’t convince her that there was no way to make it lighter.”

“Procrastination is a dish best served cold…after leaving it on the counter for 4 hours after cooking it”