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CollegeHumor Staff Blog

Somebody Took A Mormon Anti-Masturbation Video And Set It To 50 Cent. And It Works.

I hope you don’t plan on being productive for the rest of the day, because the internet is about to muck that up. 

First things first, Jehovah’s Witnesses do not want people to be jerking it, especially deaf people. Probably because the risk of somebody walking in on them is even greater, and that’s just going to be awkward for everyone. (There’s no telling how many times Annie Sullivan walked in on Helen Keller mid-diddle…)

Second, Mr. Stormeh dubbed 50 Cent’s “In Da Club” over the anti-masturbation video and what we have is your new go-to dance for any social event from here on out. Watch the video

Jean-Claude Van Damme Showing Off, Again! »
My Life Toy is Really, Really Depressing
Comes with your very own Prozac prescription!

My Life Toy is Really, Really Depressing

Comes with your very own Prozac prescription!

(Source: reddit.com)

10 Ridiculously Expensive Shitty Pieces of Art You Can Buy RIGHT NOW »
South Korea Does High School Yearbook Photos Better Than Anybody »
Someone Actually Named Their Candy Brand Dingle BEARies
Small chocolately goodness.

Someone Actually Named Their Candy Brand Dingle BEARies

Small chocolately goodness.

(Source: reddit.com)

Probably Best Not to Engage This Model in a Snowball Fight
Those are the eyes of a man whose snow balls are actually just chunks of ice. 

Probably Best Not to Engage This Model in a Snowball Fight

Those are the eyes of a man whose snow balls are actually just chunks of ice. 

(Source: reddit.com)

These May Be the 13 Strangest People on Earth »
6 Incredibly Bizarre Google Searches, Illustrated »

Sweet Old Lady Reveals Obama is Smuggling Muslims into ‘Murrica

At a town hall meeting for Oklahoma Rep. Jim Bridenstine, a woman exposes Obama’s sinister plot to fill the U.S. with Muslims and argues that he “should be executed.” As icing on the batshit-crazy cake, Bridenstine appears to agree.

(Source: youtube.com)

9 Pick-Up Lines That Are Definite Red Flags

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Because you’ve been running through my mind all day and you look kind of out of shape. But don’t worry, I like ‘em thick.

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Just kidding, I know you come here every Thursday after work.

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I would put ‘P’ on top of ‘U’

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When you waged war against God and he cast you out of heaven, hail Satan.

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Enough to feed a man for a few months, provided the Zoo doesn’t catch him first.

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Because I totally think the South will rise again. 

Finish reading 9 Pick-Up Lines That Are Definite Red Flags

9 Pick-Up Lines That Are Definite Red FlagsSee how creepy all these lines end.

9 Pick-Up Lines That Are Definite Red Flags

See how creepy all these lines end.

13 of the Weirdest Lay's Chips Flavor Submissions We Don't Wish Existed »
Looks Like The Simpsons Already Predicted This Years Superbowl Outcome
Now you have another reason to yell “D’oh” when you don’t win your company pool.

Looks Like The Simpsons Already Predicted This Years Superbowl Outcome

Now you have another reason to yell “D’oh” when you don’t win your company pool.

I am the one who catwalks.

I am the one who catwalks.

(Source: reddit.com)