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15 Pieces Of Produce That Could Have Careers In Porn

It’s easy for a ripe piece of produce with stars in its eyes to get mixed up with the wrong crowd. A bogus Whole Foods modeling ad on Craigslist can get sleazy real quick in the big city. 

Here are 15 fruits and veggies that could make it in the porn biz if Penthouse decides to open a produce stand. 

And for added pleasure, enjoy the gallery with a 70s porno soundtrack!

Sexy Vegetables
Spread your leeks.

Sexy Vegetables

Spread your leeks.

Honest Hidden Valley Ranch Slogan
I like my nutrients drenched in thick cream.

Honest Hidden Valley Ranch Slogan

I like my nutrients drenched in thick cream.

(Source: reddit.com)

Yay or Nay: Is Meat Murder?

The CH gang debates humanity’s most delicious crime.

I Don’t Think These Are Actually Vegetables
I’m actually on a diet so can I just get a glass of margarine and some biscuits?

I Don’t Think These Are Actually Vegetables

I’m actually on a diet so can I just get a glass of margarine and some biscuits?

(Source: reddit.com)

The 9 Health Tips We Actually Want To Hear [Click for 5 more awesome tips]

"It’s not a lie if YOU believe it." Peter Pan or George Constanza

How to Get a Child to Eat Vegetables in One Easy Step
do it. eat them. eat them now.

How to Get a Child to Eat Vegetables in One Easy Step

do it. eat them. eat them now.

The Troll: Asteroids, NSA, and Taco Bell [Click for more]
It’s all in the sauce.

The Troll: Asteroids, NSA, and Taco Bell [Click for more]

It’s all in the sauce.

Rude Broccoli Flipping You Off at Dinner
Man, that broccoli is really steamed about something.  

Rude Broccoli Flipping You Off at Dinner

Man, that broccoli is really steamed about something.  

Face + Eggplant? Faceplant! 
Beat that, slice of Jesus toast.

Face + Eggplant? Faceplant!

Beat that, slice of Jesus toast.

Dear roomie - Just because you buy your Easy Mac from Whole Foods doesn’t mean that it’s healthy. I am really sick of you bragging about how smart you are for finding all of the “healthy” versions of your favorite foods. Eat some vegetables; they are actually good for you.

Cucumber Spa Treatment Will Turn You into a Monster
Don’t worry, it can’t hurt you if you don’t look directly into it’s eyes.

Cucumber Spa Treatment Will Turn You into a Monster

Don’t worry, it can’t hurt you if you don’t look directly into it’s eyes.

(Source: escroto)

Pepper Does Not Want to Be Chopped
At least it doesn’t cry like that wimp onion.

Pepper Does Not Want to Be Chopped

At least it doesn’t cry like that wimp onion.

(Source: reddit.com)

10 Banana Pictures That May Confuse You [Click to view full gallery]
Bananas can seem pretty innocuous to the naked eye. But upon closer inspection, bananas are like, kind of super creepy. Here’s 10 pictures of the phallic fruit that may have you rethinking your next potassium craving.

10 Banana Pictures That May Confuse You [Click to view full gallery]

Bananas can seem pretty innocuous to the naked eye. But upon closer inspection, bananas are like, kind of super creepy. Here’s 10 pictures of the phallic fruit that may have you rethinking your next potassium craving.

The Troll [Click to continue reading]
Protect your freedom at all costs.

The Troll [Click to continue reading]

Protect your freedom at all costs.