“So I met this girl online, and we were doing a lot of chatting, just getting-to-know you kind of stuff. After awhile of getting a feel for each others’ personalities, we get into specifics of lifestyle and such, and I tell her, “I don’t drink, smoke, swear, do drugs, or mass murder.” She instantly responds back with, “I don’t drink, smoke, swear, do drugs, and you’ll never find the bodies.” I think I’m in love…”