TLDNNR: What The Guy Who Always Puts Tomato On My Sandwich Must Be Thinking

There he goes again, off to get a Diet Snapple Lemon Iced Tea after ordering his sandwich. He must really like this deli, that guy. He’s here every other day getting the same sandwich: roast beef, swiss cheese, lettuce, mayo, salt and pepper. Sounds pretty tasty. But hold up, Miguel, what about the tomato? I wouldn’t want to forget to put the tomato on. Did he say anything about tomato… Yes! Yes he did. He said, “And please, Miguel, no tomato on the sandwich.”

It’s nice that he learned my name. So many customers here just call me “man” or “hey.” God, now that I think about it, I never took the time to learn his name. Shame on you, Miguel. Remember what your mom taught you all those years ago: being a good person takes more effort than just not being a bad person. You should ask his name next time he comes in and then write it down so you don’t forget.

So I guess no tomato on his sandwich. [Find out how something as insignificant as a delicious little red fruit can symbolize an embarrassing cultural legacy for some people. Keep Reading]

Hardly Working: What Every Prank Show Basically Is

Pat & Street’s new prank show has a great catchphrase. And little else.

St. Patrick’s Day vs. The Morning After [Click to watch]

Irish I didn’t make these mistakes.

Beer Beer Goggles [Click to watch]

He thinks he met a tall blonde.

One week from tomorrow we’ll be performing at the UCB Theatre in NYC. Reserve your tickets now to see Streeter and many more CH staff members perform some of the best comedy in the city. Tickets are only $5 so what are you waiting for?!? - UCB Ticket Reservation

8 Highdeas You Have To Read NOW

Just imagine a warm donut filled with cheesy meat and glazed with – wait for it – salt. So it’s basically a jelly donut instead filled with piping hot meat and cheese and covered in some sort of liquid salt (which would be better at complimenting the meat than a sugar glaze). I have been looking for a fatter way to eat a sandwich for years now and I think this might be it.

Also, just realizing that this is basically a Hot Pocket. More Highdeas

Come hang out with us! Two weeks from today we’re doing our “Live Show” at UCB so RESERVE TICKETS for you and your friends now. It’s easy to reserve and only $5 when you there. 

CollegeHumor Reprimands Alex and Mike [Click to watch]

They take it really well.

CollegeHumor Reprimands Alex and Mike

Alex and Mike got in a lot of trouble for trying to make videos under the CollegeHumor brand. Their recent attempts at Oscar Predictions & Valentine’s Day Wishes really bombed on the site so Streeter had to bring them back to reality.

Hardly Working: Guy Fieri’s Bad News [Click to watch]

Great news: Guy Fieri visited our office! The bad news: Guy Fieri visited our office.

Hardly Working: Guy Fieri’s Bad News [Click to watch]

Guy stopped by at our office to serve up some bold flavors, bodacious vibes, and bitter disappointment.

Staff Jokes [Click for more]

You can do whatever you want, as long as you’re not hurting anyone OR EMBARRASSING ME.

TLDNR: Goddamn Cold and Flu Season [Click to read]

Streeter’s got some great old-fashioned tips that’ll improve your (spiritual) health.

Prank Your Bro Contest [Click to enter]

It’s simple. Prank your bro and you could win some dough. Just submit a video of your best prank and we’ll judge your entry. The winning trickster will get their video featured on CollegeHumor’s homepage, and  a prize package including a $1000 Gift Card and CH swag. Enter! 

Humor Us - Staff Jokes [Click for the rest]

Whether you’re dancing, gaming, jamming, or watching football, make this a great (and weird) weekend.