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Work Sucks: Butts Make the Best Headrests
If work is ruining your life too then tell the world! Submit your story to our inbox and you could be published in the next issue. 
I was in the office relaxing in a chair. I leaned my head back and thought to myself, “Wow, what a comfy headrest.” Then I realized, that chair didn’t have a headrest. I had been leaning head against my cute co-worker’s ass for 2 minutes and she never said a thing.- Anonymous
Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won’t accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it.- Anonymous
I just got fired for not working on my vacation.- D.S. 
In this issue, we’ve brought you more of the best of your worst work stories from the past year. 

Work Sucks: Butts Make the Best Headrests

If work is ruining your life too then tell the world! Submit your story to our inbox and you could be published in the next issue. 

I was in the office relaxing in a chair. I leaned my head back and thought to myself, “Wow, what a comfy headrest.” Then I realized, that chair didn’t have a headrest. I had been leaning head against my cute co-worker’s ass for 2 minutes and she never said a thing.
- Anonymous

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won’t accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it.
- Anonymous

I just got fired for not working on my vacation.
- D.S. 

In this issue, we’ve brought you more of the best of your worst work stories from the past year. 

Rough Love: Fire Alarms and Fat Bastard
Just after my girlfriend and I had some really hot sex, the fire alarm in her apartment building began screeching. That night we learned how fast the two of us could get dressed. Well…mostly dressed. I’m sure nobody noticed right? - Anonymous
I was having sex with this guy on his bedroom floor and got my period and it stained the carpet. I was too embarrassed to own up to it, so I convinced him that there must be something wrong with him because he came blood. He then spent the rest of the month freaking out because he thought his dick was broken. Little did he know, it was just my lady business. Sorry, not sorry. - averageandboring
Girls, an (useful) advice from a girl who’s boyfriend is a nerd: Give him a blowjob when he’s gaming! Seriously, the look on his face is priceless and he’ll be thankful. I promise! ;) - Riiwii
My girlfriend and I were about about to have sex when she said “Get in my belly”, I asked what said not quite believing what I had heard and she repeated “Get in my belly”. Needless to say it’s hard to be turned on when your girlfriend is impersonating Fat Bastard. - Anonymous
There’s more rough loving here where you can also submit your own story or just hit up our Tumblr inbox with it. We always check.

Rough Love: Fire Alarms and Fat Bastard

Just after my girlfriend and I had some really hot sex, the fire alarm in her apartment building began screeching. That night we learned how fast the two of us could get dressed. Well…mostly dressed. I’m sure nobody noticed right? - Anonymous

I was having sex with this guy on his bedroom floor and got my period and it stained the carpet. I was too embarrassed to own up to it, so I convinced him that there must be something wrong with him because he came blood. He then spent the rest of the month freaking out because he thought his dick was broken. Little did he know, it was just my lady business. Sorry, not sorry. averageandboring

Girls, an (useful) advice from a girl who’s boyfriend is a nerd: Give him a blowjob when he’s gaming! Seriously, the look on his face is priceless and he’ll be thankful. I promise! ;) Riiwii

My girlfriend and I were about about to have sex when she said “Get in my belly”, I asked what said not quite believing what I had heard and she repeated “Get in my belly”. Needless to say it’s hard to be turned on when your girlfriend is impersonating Fat Bastard. - Anonymous

There’s more rough loving here where you can also submit your own story or just hit up our Tumblr inbox with it. We always check.

The Internet Is For Cat Videos, Right?
My Dad was editing a video for his work which he was going to upload to YouTube, upon overhearing this my nan gave a laugh and asked why we’d upload it to YouTube. Why was she so surprised? She thought the website was ONLY for cat videos… - Anonymous 
My mother in law is worried about us sending her videos or pictures of our new baby from our iPhones because it will “use up our minutes.” - Anonymous 
Whenever my aunt sees something on the internet, shes says “the man in the computer told me”. I still don’t know if she’s kidding or not. - Anonymous 
We know you must love shaming your friends and family too so send us the dirt and it could be in the next IdioTech column. You can also send those stories to us straight on Tumblr. 

The Internet Is For Cat Videos, Right?

My Dad was editing a video for his work which he was going to upload to YouTube, upon overhearing this my nan gave a laugh and asked why we’d upload it to YouTube. Why was she so surprised? She thought the website was ONLY for cat videos… - Anonymous 

My mother in law is worried about us sending her videos or pictures of our new baby from our iPhones because it will “use up our minutes.” - Anonymous 

Whenever my aunt sees something on the internet, shes says “the man in the computer told me”. I still don’t know if she’s kidding or not. - Anonymous 

We know you must love shaming your friends and family too so send us the dirt and it could be in the next IdioTech column. You can also send those stories to us straight on Tumblr. 

Rough Love: Does it still count as sex if the guy can’t get it up? [Click for more]
One out of three guys I’ve slept with couldn’t get it up. I wonder if it still counts as sleeping with them and whether I’m considered a slut, or maybe I’m just too hot and they were extremely nervous…. - Anonymous
Before me and my ex ever slept together (actual sleeping in a bed) she would spend forever in the bathroom. When I asked her one time why this was she left the room and came back with a note that said “I have bad gas at night”…She did! - Anonymous
One night I was over at my boyfriend’s house (now my ex). We were making out and it was getting pretty intense. At almost the exact moment our hands got into each other’s pants his dad opened the bedroom door we forgot to lock and said, “You guys coming down for dinner? Or have you already eaten?” - Anonymous
Share your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories in our Tumblr inbox or submit them here at the bottom of the page.

Rough Love: Does it still count as sex if the guy can’t get it up? [Click for more]

One out of three guys I’ve slept with couldn’t get it up. I wonder if it still counts as sleeping with them and whether I’m considered a slut, or maybe I’m just too hot and they were extremely nervous…. - Anonymous

Before me and my ex ever slept together (actual sleeping in a bed) she would spend forever in the bathroom. When I asked her one time why this was she left the room and came back with a note that said “I have bad gas at night”…She did! - Anonymous

One night I was over at my boyfriend’s house (now my ex). We were making out and it was getting pretty intense. At almost the exact moment our hands got into each other’s pants his dad opened the bedroom door we forgot to lock and said, “You guys coming down for dinner? Or have you already eaten?” - Anonymous

Share your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories in our Tumblr inbox or submit them here at the bottom of the page.

How to Get Hired By Seeming Like a Serial Killer [Click for more]
Welcome to Work Sucks, the column where you get to complain about your most terrible, lousy, soul-sucking jobs. In this issue, we’ve brought you more of the best of your worst work stories from the past year. If your job sucks too then submit your story to us on Tumblr and it might be featured in the next column.
I work for Comcast as an installer, one of my duties is disconnecting cable. I disconnected a guy on Superbowl Sunday right before the game, I could see his living room with a flat screen set up and cars lining the street for a party. A minute before kick off, I pulled the wire, before I could get down the pole, the guy comes out with a gun shooting at me. I got the hell out of there and called the cops. - Anonymous
So some kid kept on asking her mom to get her candy while I was at work today. When they came by to check out, the mom asked me, “You are so skinny. What do you eat usually?” I answered, “Spinach. Lots of spinach.” The look on her kid’s face was priceless. - Anonymous
I work at a restaurant where we pass out pagers when your food is ready. A mother and young boy ordered their food and the boy kept reaching up. The mother handed him the pager and said “He always enjoys playing with my vibrator.” My eyes got wide as I tried not to laugh. Then she said “uh I mean buzzer thingy” and made a bee line for the drink station. - Anonymous - Continue reading

How to Get Hired By Seeming Like a Serial Killer [Click for more]

Welcome to Work Sucks, the column where you get to complain about your most terrible, lousy, soul-sucking jobs. In this issue, we’ve brought you more of the best of your worst work stories from the past year. If your job sucks too then submit your story to us on Tumblr and it might be featured in the next column.

I work for Comcast as an installer, one of my duties is disconnecting cable. I disconnected a guy on Superbowl Sunday right before the game, I could see his living room with a flat screen set up and cars lining the street for a party. A minute before kick off, I pulled the wire, before I could get down the pole, the guy comes out with a gun shooting at me. I got the hell out of there and called the cops. - Anonymous

So some kid kept on asking her mom to get her candy while I was at work today. When they came by to check out, the mom asked me, “You are so skinny. What do you eat usually?” I answered, “Spinach. Lots of spinach.” The look on her kid’s face was priceless. - Anonymous

I work at a restaurant where we pass out pagers when your food is ready. A mother and young boy ordered their food and the boy kept reaching up. The mother handed him the pager and said “He always enjoys playing with my vibrator.” My eyes got wide as I tried not to laugh. Then she said “uh I mean buzzer thingy” and made a bee line for the drink station. - Anonymous - Continue reading

Rough Love: Slow Dancing, Roosters, and Pokeballs [Click for more]
Rough Love is back by popular demand! It’s the column where we share your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories.

My dad is cheating on my stepmother with my mother. Both think he’s going to leave one for the other. I want to hit him. - Rose
This girl I’m seeing now is a huge nerd just like me. She took a plain white bra and drew on the cups to make them look like Pokeballs. Knowing she had this on one day I said, “I see you have two hidden items under your shirt.” We both couldn’t stop laughing for 20 minutes. - Anonymous
I was once at a dance with a boyfriend of mine. We were slow dancing and he was singing the song to me. Not only did his voice sound like a distressed cat, but he proceeded to ask me, in the middle of the song, if i could “feel his excitement”. I didn’t know slow dancing could make a guy horny. - Anonymous

If you think you can top this batch of rough loving, submit your story here or just send it to our Tumblr inbox and we’ll read it right there!

Rough Love: Slow Dancing, Roosters, and Pokeballs [Click for more]

Rough Love is back by popular demand! It’s the column where we share your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories.

My dad is cheating on my stepmother with my mother. Both think he’s going to leave one for the other. I want to hit him. - Rose

This girl I’m seeing now is a huge nerd just like me. She took a plain white bra and drew on the cups to make them look like Pokeballs. Knowing she had this on one day I said, “I see you have two hidden items under your shirt.” We both couldn’t stop laughing for 20 minutes. - Anonymous

I was once at a dance with a boyfriend of mine. We were slow dancing and he was singing the song to me. Not only did his voice sound like a distressed cat, but he proceeded to ask me, in the middle of the song, if i could “feel his excitement”. I didn’t know slow dancing could make a guy horny. - Anonymous

If you think you can top this batch of rough loving, submit your story here or just send it to our Tumblr inbox and we’ll read it right there!

Roommate Confessions: String Cheese and Hamburger Buns [Click for more]
Welcome back to Roommate Confessions, the column where we share the worst stuff you’ve done to your roommate.

You fed me moldy hamburger buns. I fed you my pubes. -Anonymous
Hey Alan, you know how I gave you discounted rent for the month you crashed at my place, because we were sort of friends last year? And you know how I didn’t even mind when you consumed my food and beer without contributing anything to the household? And do you remember that time I asked for a ride down the street and you tried to charge me ten dollars for “gas money?” Oh and do you recall that time I fucked one of your friends on your futon and then came, on your futon? Well I did. - Anonymous
I ate the last string cheese. Sorry man. - Anonymous

If you think you can top these stories, confess your sins here.

Roommate Confessions: String Cheese and Hamburger Buns [Click for more]

Welcome back to Roommate Confessions, the column where we share the worst stuff you’ve done to your roommate.

You fed me moldy hamburger buns. I fed you my pubes. -Anonymous

Hey Alan, you know how I gave you discounted rent for the month you crashed at my place, because we were sort of friends last year? And you know how I didn’t even mind when you consumed my food and beer without contributing anything to the household? And do you remember that time I asked for a ride down the street and you tried to charge me ten dollars for “gas money?” Oh and do you recall that time I fucked one of your friends on your futon and then came, on your futon? Well I did. - Anonymous

I ate the last string cheese. Sorry man. - Anonymous

If you think you can top these stories, confess your sins here.

My Elf Girlfriend: Fast & Furious [Click for sketch]

It’s the greatest story ever told, retold to impress Murph’s GF’s elf friends.

The Story of Christmas as Told by a Child [Click to continue reading]

Hey, get it right. JESUS hung out with dinosaurs.

'Twas The Night Before Christmas, Read by Jimmy Fallon and Tracy Morgan

Wait for Tracy’s reindeer nicknames. WORTH IT.

Sometimes I wonder if the prince who kissed Snow White was really just a very disappointed necrophiliac

Last semester in my journalism class, there were 10 of us girls in ratio to the 4 guys. Near the end of the term, 1 of the guys let it slip that him and the 3 others had rated each of the girls based on their looks, boobs, and their overall “hotness” throughout the semester. At first, I was a little taken aback by realizing that I was being looked and judged the whole time; but then out of curiosity, asked him what place I was in. He said he wouldn’t rat out the guys more than he already had, but I was overall in the “top 3” the entire semester. I can now say that media relies heavily on looks and “booyah!”

It’s another boring day at your stupid office. You spent most of the morning catching up on all the Internet you missed while sleeping and now you’re behind. Your stomach is growling because the banana you bought had a weird brown lump on it. You know you should get back to work, but you also know that you’re hungry and don’t care about your job at all.
What do you do?
- SEARCH FOR FOOD in the drawer that you haven’t used since you started here 2 years ago.
- CHECK EMAIL to see if your boss sent any super-long emails you can read to pass the time. 

It’s another boring day at your stupid office. You spent most of the morning catching up on all the Internet you missed while sleeping and now you’re behind. Your stomach is growling because the banana you bought had a weird brown lump on it. You know you should get back to work, but you also know that you’re hungry and don’t care about your job at all.

What do you do?

SEARCH FOR FOOD in the drawer that you haven’t used since you started here 2 years ago.

CHECK EMAIL to see if your boss sent any super-long emails you can read to pass the time. 

He finally found out where the cold air was coming from.

He finally found out where the cold air was coming from.

(Source: College Humor)

Just Released: Hardly Working - “Alumni” (with David Young & Sarah Schneider)

You’ll never forget college, no matter how hard you try.