You don’t know jacking.
Roommate Confessions: You Break My Snowboard, I Break You [Click for all]
Dearest Nik – remember our fun winter rooming together in that posh 2br/2ba apt? Well, I knew you were stealing my hard-earned cash out of my stashbox, using my make-up (thanks for the pink eye!), and throwing parties was I was working overnights and letting people sleep in my bed while I was gone for weekends. I also know you were the one who ‘took’ my ‘missing’ bank envelope with my $400 dollars I was going to buy a new snowboard bindings with. Just to let you know – I’m the one who broke out your tail light that night you were shitty drunk at the bar and got pulled over for it and ended up in jail, when you called, sobbing for me to come post your bail so you wouldn’t lose your job, I did have the $1500 bond, I just really didn’t feel like driving across town. Remember the many, many times you’d shut the dryer off and leave all my work clothes sopping wet, so I would be late for work? Well, I started peeing in your detergent, spitting in your foundation and letting my guy friends take your underwear. I also know you borrowed my $900 snowboard; it came back gouged the hell out of the bottom and sides, causing it to de-laminate and be ruined. Luckily for you, I WORKED AT THE SKIRESORT YOU WENT TO DUMBASS and I saw you with it that day, letting your tool boyfriend grind rails with it. Ever wonder what happened to your iPod, which I convinced you got stolen from your purse on one of your drinking binges? I pawned it. You still owe me…hm, around $1200, by the way bitch; and get a fucking job instead of stealing my money!
If you think you can top this then submit your sins to our inbox and you could be featured in the next issue.
Is that a sandwich in your pants or are you just a kleptomaniac?
Purse Thief Smashes Through Glass Door [Click to animate]
A clean, recently windexed getaway.
“Dude sitting next to me just bounced to the restroom and left his whole Apple suite straight splayed out on this reclaimed. Noice.”
Guess the lesson here is to never trust strangers.
If you watch this, you are also complicit in theft and will be prosecuted as such. Just FYI.
His guitar hiding is like his guitar playing: a tight jam.
Apparently, it’s cheaper to use Natty Light instead of holy water.
The Troll [Click to continue reading]
Guy Pees in Car that Stole His Parking Spot [Click to animate]
That guy is pissed.
Woman Steals Case of Cans by Hiding it Under Her Dress [Click to animate]
Thighs of steel.