Now this is a cartoon mom and dad can get behind.
1. Willy Wonka is a cannibalistic murderer.
Granted: Wonka is a total creep, if not a psychopath. But some on the internet think that in the world of Wonka’s chocolate factory, a secret candy recipe + shockingly easy child injury and possible death (i.e. the Augustus Gloop-sucking tube) = kid-candy. Wouldn’t that make it taste a bit funky? Thick? Stringy? Regardless, the argument loses some credibility around the point this FanTheories Wiki editor says he’s “not trying to be racist here [about Oompa Loompas], but cannibalism in Africa isn’t the rarest of things.” Sounds to me like he’s just using his pure, bigoted imagination. Keep Reading
Patrick Star is in a State of Permanent Shock UPDATED [Click for more]
Spongebob’s best bud can’t handle all this attention.
Here’s looking at you, Squidward.
Patrick Star is in a State of Permanent Shock [Click for more]
Spongebob’s best friend is shocked by everything, including the fact that his shocked-ness became a meme.
Coming to a bad tempered morning commute near you.
Regret Everything: Down with References! [Click for full article]
Here’s the problem, fellow humans: There is TOO MUCH INFORMATION in the world, and it makes it impossible to know what anyone is really talking about.
I realized this last night while watching SpongeBob Squarepants.
You see, I was shocked — SHOCKED — to find there was a criminal level of nostalgia in SpongeBob! I’m referring to the “special episode” which broadcast last night made in the style of the stop-motion animated classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Do you understand the immense demand of cultural memory that show asked of its audience? Let’s look at the numbers:
Spongebob Squarepants is a character which first debuted in 1999 — that’s thirteen years ago. So already this show is asking its prime time audience to be aware of a kids show from 2.5 presidents ago. Now, this particular special is aping the style of a stop-motion Christmas special that first aired in 1964 – a stunning forty-eight years ago!
Even just the concept of “special episode” itself dates back quite a ways: either during the late 1980s when Blossom discovered drugs in her backpack, or maybe the early 1980s on Family Ties when Michael J. Fox’s friend killed himself or in the mid-1980s on Cheers when Norm fingered Cliff in the bathroom. I think that happened. Frankly, it’s all a blur. Point is: I shouldn’t be expected to keep this all straight and neither should you. [Keep Reading]
Come play with us Patrick, forever and ever and ever.
This is what you get for leaving your natural habitat.
Who lives next to a pineapple on your kitchen counter?
The pineapple had just been torn apart by ruthless predators.
They say TV makes you stupid, so quickly, use your last remaining brain cells to rank its stars.
The official voting period ends Saturday September 8, 2012 at 12:00AM so get your votes in now.