Sign Of The (End) Times of the Day: Well, I’m sorry to say this, but it appears you’ve been left behind. Not to worry — Rapture Jetpack’s got you covered (spotted in downtown Chicago):
GOD DON’T WANT YOU IN HEAVEN? GET THERE YOURSELF! THE RAPTURE JETPACK!
When the end times come on May 21, what if you’re not of the chosen people to ascend to heaven when Christ returns? With the rapture jetpack, eternal paradise is just a button push and a burst of fuel away! And, the Rapture Jetpack can be yours for a one-time fee of $50,000 US. Call 608-213-2891 to get yours today! Hurry, while supplies last!