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Toddler Has A Drinking Problem

She’s been on the bottle for months. 

(Source: youtube.com)

Dog Snores to Lullaby

Yet another reason human children are obsolete.

(Source: youtube.com)

Wait, did I sleep through the end of the world, again? [Click for full article]
I’ve settled my debts. Prayed for forgiveness. Duct taped myself inside my dorm room. I am at peace with the end of everything as we know it. As soon as that happens. Wait, when’s that supposed to happen again? December twenty-somethingth? I always forget. Shit.I know I have it down somewhere. Let’s see… cats dressed like people calender, people dressed like cats calendar, Jets team schedule, ah, here it is, Mayan calendar!Err, how do I read this again? Shit shit shit.OK, don’t panic, I’m sure I haven’t missed it. I would have heard something right? Or nothing? Can you hear nothing? Brimstone maybe? What the hell is brimstone? Oh god, what day is today?!FUCK! I slept through it again, didn’t I? This happens every goddamn time. I write it down on the dry erase board on my door. I start prepping. Then my roommate and his friends get drunk and draw dicks all over my dry erase board, which makes it hard to read what I wrote down. Next thing I know I’m back on XBOX Live playing Uncharted, wondering why all the sudden I have so much bottled water and solar powered survival gear.If I missed this apocalypse I’m totally gonna fail the universe this semester and I’m definitely never going to get into a top tier heaven. My ancestors are gonna be pissed if I end up in the crappy Scientology one…[Keep Reading]

Wait, did I sleep through the end of the world, again? [Click for full article]

I’ve settled my debts. Prayed for forgiveness. Duct taped myself inside my dorm room. I am at peace with the end of everything as we know it. As soon as that happens. Wait, when’s that supposed to happen again? December twenty-somethingth? I always forget. Shit.

I know I have it down somewhere. Let’s see… cats dressed like people calender, people dressed like cats calendar, Jets team schedule, ah, here it is, Mayan calendar!

Err, how do I read this again? Shit shit shit.

OK, don’t panic, I’m sure I haven’t missed it. I would have heard something right? Or nothing? Can you hear nothing? Brimstone maybe? What the hell is brimstone? Oh god, what day is today?!

FUCK! I slept through it again, didn’t I? This happens every goddamn time. I write it down on the dry erase board on my door. I start prepping. Then my roommate and his friends get drunk and draw dicks all over my dry erase board, which makes it hard to read what I wrote down. Next thing I know I’m back on XBOX Live playing Uncharted, wondering why all the sudden I have so much bottled water and solar powered survival gear.

If I missed this apocalypse I’m totally gonna fail the universe this semester and I’m definitely never going to get into a top tier heaven. My ancestors are gonna be pissed if I end up in the crappy Scientology one…[Keep Reading]

Somehow spam was sent out from my email address to everyone in my contact list. It read something along the lines of; “Hey, check this out, I found a quick way to lose weight!” with a link attached (typical spam). My Dad replied to it; “Hey bud, thanks for the website, I’m about to hit the hay, I’ll check it out tomorrow.”

The Meeting Point of Pillow Fights and Pillow Talk
Pillow diplomacy is an important part of any sleepover party.

The Meeting Point of Pillow Fights and Pillow Talk

Pillow diplomacy is an important part of any sleepover party.

(Source: slacktory.com)

Guy Asleep on Train with Stuffed Charmander
Got catch all the ZzZ’s.

Guy Asleep on Train with Stuffed Charmander

Got catch all the ZzZ’s.

I Will Not Sleep Until I Find a Cure for My Insomnia
Makes sense.

I Will Not Sleep Until I Find a Cure for My Insomnia

Makes sense.

(Source: humortrain.com)

Pajama Obama Celebrates

Fired up, ready to get my groove on, comfy style.

Sleep Button of Doom
I usually hit it about three times and call in sick due to blood loss.

Sleep Button of Doom

I usually hit it about three times and call in sick due to blood loss.

Mom Wants to Open a “Tomato Cage” in Her Sleep

Well, now you know what to get her for her birthday—a bunch of bungee cords.

(Source: youtube.com)

Driver Kicking Back in Car
This guy gives a whole new meaning to cruise control.

Driver Kicking Back in Car

This guy gives a whole new meaning to cruise control.

The Power of Naps

And informative video about just how awesome naps are. Please feel free to petition your work places.

(Source: youtube.com)

12 Adorably Sleepy Animals

Featuring “Rusty, the Narcoleptic Dachshund.” Being cute has never looked this cute. F

10 Parenting Wins

Biologically speaking, all parents are winners for producing living offspring. Unlike biology, we don’t hand out awards just for participation.

GO TO SLEEP!

A special message for Internet insomniacs.