“If a twosome is sex with two people, and a threesome is sex with three people, then now I know why I keep getting called handsome”
I know a lot of people don’t have dates tonight, so here’s one on me.
-Sorry I’m late.
-I guess they don’t give you free bread here.
-Is it just me, or does the guy sitting next to us look like what would happen if Rick Moranis and Strom Thurmond had a baby?
-I mean, it’s not like bread costs that much.
-Is it just me, or does our waitress look like what would happen if Zooey Deschanel had a baby with the girl from Elf?
-Eh, I don’t think I actually want to order bread—seems like a waste of money.
-According to my phone, it’s actually the same lady.
-Is it just me, or does Rick Moranis and Strom Thurmond’s baby actually look like Abe Vigoda?
-Okay, if he had a baby with Latrell Sprewell.
-You know, the guy who used to play for the Knicks.
-He had cornrows, choked his coach once.
-Anyway, tell me about yourself.
-So are we still going to see The Vow, or is it just me?
-Oh, just you two? Sorry.
Alex Watt would like to take you on a date.
If you’re single, like us, you may find the idea of a holiday centered around love and companionship a bit offensive. We’re here to offer an alternative.
(Source: College Humor)
Resentment is in the air.
Mariel just sent me the top comments for the official Titanic 3D trailer.
Can we all just keep these two in our prayers that they find boyfriends by the time this movie comes out.
Follow this broad.
Valentine’s Day Sucks. You might want to cancel that dinner reservation right about now.