Your body, your choice.
Knock, knock. Hey, sport. Are you busy? Well, just take a quick homework break. We need to talk.
Yes, “the talk.”
I know, I know, this is a bit awkward. But you’re growing up and as your father I need to tell you about, uh, how the world works. I just want to make sure you have all the facts. About jay-walking.
Click to see more: Son, We Need To Talk About Jaywalking
Some insane tips that will take your game to another world.
1. First and foremost, take it slow! Always be sure to pay attention to your partner’s needs and desires.
2. Start the foreplay! Let her warm up to you with some tender cuddling.
3. Kiss her slowly and sensually. Caress her neck and shoulders to deepen your connection.
4. Slowly but confidently massage every inch of her skin. If she’s receptive to it, try using your tongue.
5. Once she’s comfortable, invoke the sigil of a long-dead Elder God of your choosing.
6. Wrap the unknown terror of the universe around her very soul like a warm cloak of the finest sable. If done right, this will really get her going!
Finish reading 10 Ways to Drive a Girl CRAZY in the Bedroom
By Professor Romeo von Sexhaver
Finish reading: Finally, A Step-By-Step Guide To Getting All The Bitches.
Finish Reading Losing Netflix Access Is Like Getting an STD
Remember, your Netflix account is a beautiful and special thing that shouldn’t be given out to just anyone.
Start Reading - Losing Netflix Access Is Like Getting an STD
Love really, really hurts.
Finish reading 10 Creepy Love Notes That Will NEVER Get You Laid, Buddy
Take one pill daily to prevent being a GOOD PERSON.
Finish reading 10 TV-Themed Porn Parodies You Don’t Want To Miss!
Stop worrying about the terminal decline of global porno production, and take a peek at this list of ten pornos that are headed to the Porno Emmys this year.
Looking for that special someone? Give up already.