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This is why Google should never have voice activated search. 

Watch What If Google Was a Guy

Subject: Regarding your recent internet history
From: IT Department
Date: 12/2/2013 10:17 AM
Status: URGENT

Good Morning David,
Hope you had a nice weekend. As you may have heard, we here at the IT department were recently given the order to implement a new software package which will carefully monitor all employee Internet history. This has been in effect for roughly two weeks now. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you have unfortunately been one of the key subjects of our latest investigation. I do not quite know how to say this, but you David, are sick. I have come across some VERY sick people in this office but you David are hands down one of the sickest.
Finish reading Regarding Your Recent Internet History

Subject: Regarding your recent internet history

From: IT Department

Date: 12/2/2013 10:17 AM

Status: URGENT

Good Morning David,

Hope you had a nice weekend. As you may have heard, we here at the IT department were recently given the order to implement a new software package which will carefully monitor all employee Internet history. This has been in effect for roughly two weeks now. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but you have unfortunately been one of the key subjects of our latest investigation. I do not quite know how to say this, but you David, are sick. I have come across some VERY sick people in this office but you David are hands down one of the sickest.

Finish reading Regarding Your Recent Internet History

Jake And Amir Dot Com: Jake and Amir Script Archive is now Live! »
Thanks, Google! A Collection of Google Widget Fails [Click for more]
Some widgets have fidgets. 

Thanks, Google! A Collection of Google Widget Fails [Click for more]

Some widgets have fidgets. 

(Source: College Humor)

15 Things We Can Learn About Humanity From Google Autocomplete [Click for more]
TMI

15 Things We Can Learn About Humanity From Google Autocomplete [Click for more]

TMI

15 Things We Can Learn About Humanity From Google Autocomplete [Click for more]

Google it. 

IDIOTECH: Can you Google confusion?

When my mom wants to search for something on the internet, she goes to google.com, searches yahoo.com, clicks the link to yahoo, then searches things there. Her reason? “I just don’t understand how google works.” WTF.

The First 35 Results of Your Porn Search [Click for full list you perv]
1. Plump-buttocked Naomi Gets Longdicked By The Maestro
2. Peevish Maid Brought To Her Senses Via Searing Kiss Of Buggy Whip
3. Hapless Russian Couple Attempts The Sex
4. Ugly High-school Teens Found Out By Angry Mom
5. Sardonic Duke Will Take His Pleasure Come What May
6. Sunset Fuck Broken Up By Jealous Fuzz
7. Vampire Newlyweds Bone On Cruiseship Dance Floor
8. Tightlaced Cellist Suffers Long-smitten Tympanist To Thump Her
9. Evil Seigneur Has At Serf With Outsize All-natural Jugs
10. Redheaded Bimbo Sports Freckled Titties Akimbo
11. Scuba Whore Tangos With Determined Octo-cock
12. Cleopatra Lookalike Teases Bf With Thoughtful Dance
13. Sex-obsessed Paramedic Sees His Chance (epic Fail)
14. Luckless Fisherman Netted By Obese Siren
And that’s not all! It’s human nature to want to see the rest.

The First 35 Results of Your Porn Search [Click for full list you perv]

1. Plump-buttocked Naomi Gets Longdicked By The Maestro

2. Peevish Maid Brought To Her Senses Via Searing Kiss Of Buggy Whip

3. Hapless Russian Couple Attempts The Sex

4. Ugly High-school Teens Found Out By Angry Mom

5. Sardonic Duke Will Take His Pleasure Come What May

6. Sunset Fuck Broken Up By Jealous Fuzz

7. Vampire Newlyweds Bone On Cruiseship Dance Floor

8. Tightlaced Cellist Suffers Long-smitten Tympanist To Thump Her

9. Evil Seigneur Has At Serf With Outsize All-natural Jugs

10. Redheaded Bimbo Sports Freckled Titties Akimbo

11. Scuba Whore Tangos With Determined Octo-cock

12. Cleopatra Lookalike Teases Bf With Thoughtful Dance

13. Sex-obsessed Paramedic Sees His Chance (epic Fail)

14. Luckless Fisherman Netted By Obese Siren

And that’s not all! It’s human nature to want to see the rest.

Thanks Bing

Thanks Bing

My dad types any website he wants to go to in a search bar because he is convinced that if he types it into the URL bar he will get a virus. He also only uses Yahoo Search because he thinks that if he uses Google, Yahoo will know he is “cheating” on them and delete his account.

How Long Does it Take to Grow a Condom 
About as long as it takes to grow your virginity tree.

How Long Does it Take to Grow a Condom

About as long as it takes to grow your virginity tree.

(Source: reddit.com)

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Romney’s Terrifying Google Search History Leaked

At least he didn’t use Bing.

(Source: youtube.com)

Cheeky Google Correction
Google. Not bad at all.

Cheeky Google Correction

Google. Not bad at all.

(Source: reddit.com)

Google Maps Win 
This is what pops up when you Google Map search “chill bros.”

Google Maps Win

This is what pops up when you Google Map search “chill bros.”

(Source: memebase.cheezburger.com)

Skeleton Aware He Doesn’t Fit in to Image Search
"Come on, Google, don’t make me go to this search result. It’s gonna be nothing but french fries. I won’t know anyone."

Skeleton Aware He Doesn’t Fit in to Image Search

"Come on, Google, don’t make me go to this search result. It’s gonna be nothing but french fries. I won’t know anyone."

(Source: reddit.com)