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Did you know there is a Jake and Amir Script Archive? http://scripts.jakeandamir.com/
You can search any word or phrase and it will show you the episodes where that word or phrase was spoken. Thank you to Garrett Boatman and Christopher Chu for building it, and to everybody that transcribed over 700 episodes! Amazing amount of effort.

It was broken for a little bit but now it’s back! Please check it out.

Did you know there is a Jake and Amir Script Archive?
http://scripts.jakeandamir.com/

You can search any word or phrase and it will show you the episodes where that word or phrase was spoken. Thank you to Garrett Boatman and Christopher Chu for building it, and to everybody that transcribed over 700 episodes! Amazing amount of effort.

It was broken for a little bit but now it’s back! Please check it out.

test groups didn’t like pain face.  more smiles?

blood’s a no go. 

loud.  too loud.  please, less of loud.

could baby come out of somewhere else?

Finish reading If Network Executives Gave Notes On Real Life Events

Porno Table Read

It’s not faking an orgasm, it’s ACTING one.

(Source: youtube.com)

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This Writer for DogTV Seems Disappointed with his Career

CH Scripts - Full Video: Why Can’t You Use Phones on Planes?

If anybody knows how planes actually work then message me. We NEED to know for some experiments we’ll be conducting in the near future.

Video: The Grossest Words Ever - In written form!

Warren G. Harding, The Movie [Click for more]
An unforgettable movie about a forgettable president. 
 

Warren G. Harding, The Movie [Click for more]

An unforgettable movie about a forgettable president. 

 

Every Haircut You’ll Ever Have [Click for full article]
Barber: Alright, how do you want it?
You: I’m going to tell you the same thing I’ve told you since I was twelve because I don’t really know anything about hair.
Barber: That’s okay, if I do something different, you wouldn’t be able to tell anyway.
You: Sounds good.
Barber: Now I’ll just inaudibly mumble something that sounds like it’s probably a joke.
You: Hahaha! I sure am trapped in this chair.
Barber: Does THIS look like a good length?
You: I can’t judge what a haircut will look like based on the tiny amount of hair your pinching between your fingers so I’ll just assume you know what you’re doing.
Barber: Good.
You: There’s hair all over my face, but for some reason it seems rude to ask you to brush it off. I’ll just sit here and contemplate the nature of itching and self-control. [Keep Reading]

Every Haircut You’ll Ever Have [Click for full article]

Barber: Alright, how do you want it?

You: I’m going to tell you the same thing I’ve told you since I was twelve because I don’t really know anything about hair.

Barber: That’s okay, if I do something different, you wouldn’t be able to tell anyway.

You: Sounds good.

Barber: Now I’ll just inaudibly mumble something that sounds like it’s probably a joke.

You: Hahaha! I sure am trapped in this chair.

Barber: Does THIS look like a good length?

You: I can’t judge what a haircut will look like based on the tiny amount of hair your pinching between your fingers so I’ll just assume you know what you’re doing.

Barber: Good.

You: There’s hair all over my face, but for some reason it seems rude to ask you to brush it off. I’ll just sit here and contemplate the nature of itching and self-control. [Keep Reading]

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Rejected Pitches: Jurassic Park

They’re gonna need a bigger boat. Unrelated, but true.

(Source: youtube.com)

CollegeHumor’s Favorite Funny Videos

Rejected Pitches: The Birds

Yikes, talk about an egg.

(Source: youtube.com)

CollegeHumor’s Favorite Funny Videos

Rejected Pitches: Edward Scissorhands

Cut the “cut guy” out.

(Source: youtube.com)

Leaked Borat Script
If you knew who his wife was, you’d understand.

Leaked Borat Script

If you knew who his wife was, you’d understand.

(Source: College Humor)