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9 Simpsons Characters Who Are Way Darker Than You Remember
While we’re on the subject of suicide (What a great way to end a list about a beloved cartoon, huh?) let’s talk about the time in that Homer casually decides to off himself by tying himself a boulder and drowning himself. No, seriously, it happened. In the season one episode “Homer’s Odyssey”, Homer gets fired from the nuclear plant, and after an unsettling scene in which he breaks open his 10 year old’s piggy bank in an attempt to steal beer money, Homer leaves his family a note and heads for a bridge. He is only stopped when his family follows him, and is almost run over by a car. This spurs Homer to lead a crusade on safety which gives him a new lease on life and eventually leads to him being offered a new job at the plant. So yeah, if you’ve ever wondered how Homer got his job as safety inspector, that’s the reason…the deeply upsetting reason.
Key Line: `Dear Family.  I am an utter failure, and you’ll be better off without me.  By the time you read this, I will be in my watery grave.’ (An excerpt from his actual suicide note…Have a nice day…)
RELATED POSTS:
20 Normal Words Simpsons Fans Can’t Hear Without Laughing
10 Sexual Jokes On The Simpsons You Might’ve Missed As A Kid8 Weirdly Out Of Character Simpsons Jokes

9 Simpsons Characters Who Are Way Darker Than You Remember

While we’re on the subject of suicide (What a great way to end a list about a beloved cartoon, huh?) let’s talk about the time in that Homer casually decides to off himself by tying himself a boulder and drowning himself. No, seriously, it happened. In the season one episode “Homer’s Odyssey”, Homer gets fired from the nuclear plant, and after an unsettling scene in which he breaks open his 10 year old’s piggy bank in an attempt to steal beer money, Homer leaves his family a note and heads for a bridge. He is only stopped when his family follows him, and is almost run over by a car. This spurs Homer to lead a crusade on safety which gives him a new lease on life and eventually leads to him being offered a new job at the plant. So yeah, if you’ve ever wondered how Homer got his job as safety inspector, that’s the reason…the deeply upsetting reason.

Key Line: `Dear Family.  I am an utter failure, and you’ll be better off without me.  By the time you read this, I will be in my watery grave.’ (An excerpt from his actual suicide note…Have a nice day…)

RELATED POSTS:

20 Normal Words Simpsons Fans Can’t Hear Without Laughing

10 Sexual Jokes On The Simpsons You Might’ve Missed As A Kid

8 Weirdly Out Of Character Simpsons Jokes

whitewhine:

Please don’t die on me, coffee robot

Get the whitewhine book on Amazon 

whitewhine:

Please don’t die on me, coffee robot

Get the whitewhine book on Amazon 

Finish 13 Inanimate Objects That Look Like They’re Having an Existential Breakdown

Kids Losing Balloons (the Supercut) »
The Marriott Hotel Finally Gets It
When you’re here, you’re fleeing family.

The Marriott Hotel Finally Gets It

When you’re here, you’re fleeing family.

(Source: reddit.com)

Don’t judge a club by its cover (charge)
Read Why Nightclubs Are Actually Super Depressing

Don’t judge a club by its cover (charge)

Read Why Nightclubs Are Actually Super Depressing

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Proof That Americans Know Nothing About Soccer

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Don’t ask questions, just mail a toothbrush to every major city in China and cross your fingers.

Saddest Clothes Tag Ever

Don’t ask questions, just mail a toothbrush to every major city in China and cross your fingers.

(Source: reddit.com)

1. MIX IT UP

Even the greatest roommate sex-overhearing relationships can get tired. So mix it up once in a while: When you lean against your wall to hear your roommates’ grunts and moans better, try leaning in a new position!

2. INCORPORATE FOOD

Chocolate sauce or mango slices can be a great way to reinvigorate your senses while you eavesdrop. Or try alternating sips of ice water and hot water while you listen to your roommates intimately pleasure each other.

3. TAKE IT SLOW

Light some candles, make a playlist, and make a night of it. Tease yourself, slowly getting closer and closer to your roommates’ door until you feel like you’re going to explode. (But make sure you’re still far enough away that if they came out of the room, you wouldn’t seem creepy.)

Finish reading 5 HOT New Ways to Spice Up How You Listen to Your Roommates Have Sex

Oh, baby, that’s the spot. On the other side of that wall.

5 HOT New Ways to Spice Up How You Listen to Your Roommates Have Sex [Click to start reading]

Here’s an article we posted a year and a half ago. NBC was just playing with our hearts the whole time.

It’s a sad day for Community.

(Source: College Humor)

Man, Match.com Has Gotten Really Mean
And he thought signing up for Match.com was rock bottom.

Man, Match.com Has Gotten Really Mean

And he thought signing up for Match.com was rock bottom.

(Source: reddit.com)

Forever Alone: 8 of the Saddest Products Made For Just One Person

Learn to love yourself…because you’re gonna be single for a long, long time.

1. A dining table for one to host all those dinner parties you have by yourself.

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2. A cookbook aimed to help you microwave all your sad, gross meals.

image

3. A boyfriend pillow that doesn’t know how to love but can keep you warm.

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4. An extendable razor so you can shave your own disgusting back.

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Finish reading Forever Alone: 8 of the Saddest Products Made For Just One Person

JFK Died This Morning! In a Car Accident! Prank

A sad day for this country indeed.

(Source: youtube.com)

Honest Ramen Noodles
Now with extra aspirin and antidepressants.

Honest Ramen Noodles

Now with extra aspirin and antidepressants.

(Source: reddit.com)