Don’t judge a club by its cover (charge)
Don’t ask questions, just mail a toothbrush to every major city in China and cross your fingers.
1. MIX IT UP
Even the greatest roommate sex-overhearing relationships can get tired. So mix it up once in a while: When you lean against your wall to hear your roommates’ grunts and moans better, try leaning in a new position!
2. INCORPORATE FOOD
Chocolate sauce or mango slices can be a great way to reinvigorate your senses while you eavesdrop. Or try alternating sips of ice water and hot water while you listen to your roommates intimately pleasure each other.
3. TAKE IT SLOW
Light some candles, make a playlist, and make a night of it. Tease yourself, slowly getting closer and closer to your roommates’ door until you feel like you’re going to explode. (But make sure you’re still far enough away that if they came out of the room, you wouldn’t seem creepy.)
Oh, baby, that’s the spot. On the other side of that wall.
5 HOT New Ways to Spice Up How You Listen to Your Roommates Have Sex [Click to start reading]
Here’s an article we posted a year and a half ago. NBC was just playing with our hearts the whole time.
It’s a sad day for Community.
(Source: College Humor)
And he thought signing up for Match.com was rock bottom.
Learn to love yourself…because you’re gonna be single for a long, long time.
1. A dining table for one to host all those dinner parties you have by yourself.
2. A cookbook aimed to help you microwave all your sad, gross meals.
3. A boyfriend pillow that doesn’t know how to love but can keep you warm.
4. An extendable razor so you can shave your own disgusting back.
A sad day for this country indeed.
30% discounts for everyone who isn’t named Hanna! Hanna, you get to go sit in the corner.