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CollegeHumor Staff Blog

So, my boyfriend’s a cage fighter. I’m really bad at defending myself (and also quite clumsy) so I asked him to give me a few pointers on how to punch. Out came the boxing pads, and we began. Since I started to get the hang of it, he gave me the challenge of hitting him in the stomach while he defended. To my surprise, I managed it! However, while I was celebrating to myself, he responded with his insticts and slapped me hard across the face. Oops.

Whenever my wife talks about her “clematis” (a flowering plant), I turn into an 8th-grade boy and start laughing because to me it sounds like the STD “chlamydia”. One day it was really offending her and she said, “Hey! My Grandma gave it to me!” This made me crack up even harder (her Grandpa had passed a few years back, but I couldn’t stop laughing). She got a horrified look when she realized what she’d said, but then started to smile when she said, “Grandpa gave it to her!” I was rolling on the floor and she was busting up when she managed to get out, “It grew back every year!”