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I recently started dating a girl. It was going really well so I took her to Disney Land for a the solid “get to know each other” day. We were in line for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad when I noticed a mouse in the bushes. I pointed it out to her and soon everyone around us (including very small children) were watching and cooing at the aptly named ‘Mickey’ scurry through the bushes. Seconds later we found out the the mouse was actually raiding a birds nest when several birds flew in and ripped the mouse limb from limb. Children screamed, I gasped in astonishment, and my girl laughed hysterically… This one’s a keeper.

One morning when I went to take a shower, my boyfriend at the time followed me, and things got a little heated. As we were going at it and I was pinned against the shower door, we heard this giant crack, and the door tore from the wall a little. Freaking out, we pressed the door back into place and ran into my room, deciding we’d fix it when everyone left. About an hour later, one of my roommates went to take a shower. We didn’t know he was taking his girlfriend in there with him. 30 minutes later, they came running out saying they broke the door and they were sorry and would fix it. My boyfriend and I didn’t bother correcting them.

When I was in high school, I taught my boyfriend how to unhook a bra. He eventually could do it with one hand. He then insisted upon calling himself Houdini for weeks after.

Today I was resting my head on my boyfriend’s lap. I felt something pressing into my head, and I wanted to move whatever it was. Assuming it was his phone or wallet, I started trying to shift it. Its hard to forget the look of alarm on my boyfriend’s face as I sleepily tried to reposition his nudging boner.

I lost my virginity watching Game of Thrones. I introduced my gf to the show and she happened to be a big fan of the actor that played Drogo. During one of the scenes with Drogo and Dany, she got excited and one thing led to another. After that we always had to watch an episode twice and pay attention the second time. I love that show.

I have this one friend I talk to, he has a girlfriend and everything yet he always comes to ME when he is down and depressed. Which I don’t mind being that friend, but everyday its the same thing and when I try and ask him something it’s “Don’t worry about it” or he does the whole “I know -hugs-“. I fucking hate -hugs- and its after everything. I could tell him that I like to eat shit and it would be -hugs-. Always “Mhm -hugs-“. And it gets into elaborate -hugs and snuggles into you then look up and blinks- First of all, I have a boyfriend. Second of all I am not a 13 year old girl. Third of all man the fuck up already. Jesus.

My best friend and her boyfriend were dating for three weeks and taking it slow. They were making out and unexpectedly he got a hard-on and jizzed all over her pants. Needless to say she was uncomfortable and he was embarassed. They’re not dating anymore……

My girlfriend blames everything that she does on her period. I told her she can’t possibly be on her period 30 days out of the month.

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(Source: College Humor)

Rough Love

So the other night, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and he asked if there was anything I wanted him to do. So, I whispered in his ear that I wanted him to pull my hair and call me a slut. He then proceeded to pull on my pubic hair and called me a slut. The next day, I was feeling a little down so I asked him to say nice things to me the next time we have sex. A¬†little while later, he started fingering me and said, “You’re a good student.” I thought he was trying to do some teacher-student roleplay, so I went with it. Then, he said, “Your jokes make me laugh.” It made me pause for a bit, and he finished up with, “My parents really like you.” I have now given up making requests for what he does during sex.

[Click to Read More Stories from Rough Love]

(Source: College Humor)