Follow Us

CollegeHumor Staff Blog

Buy More Post-Its
Whatever, you’re not my real post-it, I don’t have to listen to you.

Buy More Post-Its

Whatever, you’re not my real post-it, I don’t have to listen to you.

(Source: reddit.com)

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt IRL

Sharing any name is tough, but J.J.J.S. takes it to a whole ‘nother level.

(Source: youtube.com)

15 Things You Don’t Want Your New Roommate To Say [Click for full article]

15 Things You Don’t Want Your New Roommate To Say [Click for full article]

15 Things You Don’t Want Your New Roommate To Say [Click for full article]

15 Things You Don’t Want Your New Roommate To Say [Click for full article]

15 Things You Don’t Want Your New Roommate To Say [Click for full article]

15 Things You Don’t Want Your New Roommate To Say [Click for full article]

My dorm mixed in students from an acting school. I was lucky enough to have the wannabe-actresses move into the rooms surrounding my own. You know those rich girls from the movie ‘White Chicks’? That was them, except replace “One thousand miles” with SirMixaLot’s “Baby got back”. I was even luckier when they would scream at 4am, banging on my door and run back as if I couldn’t see or tell it was them. It guess it was my punishment for being a “short, nerdy, Asian” girl, according to them. So being “actresses”, they all had their head shots taken and conveniently left them in the lounge. They’ll never know that I helped jump-start their online porn-star careers. Never mess with a “short, nerdy, Asian” graphic designer with wicked Photoshop skills.

Roommate Trolling Opportunity Not Missed
Looks like it’s going to be a fun year for Willie’s roommate.

Roommate Trolling Opportunity Not Missed

Looks like it’s going to be a fun year for Willie’s roommate.

Angry Parrot Tells Off Cat for Being a Bad Roommate

"Y’know, Mike, there’s a chore wheel for reason, we all have to pitch in. Also stop eating my crackers."

(Source: youtube.com)

Roommate Confessions: The Hypocrite 

Revenge is a dish best reheated in the microwave.

Remember when you would always party at night and then beg to use my business finance homework to copy? It irritated the Hell out of me, but I was too nice to say anything, so I dropped subtle hints: I’d always be prepared and do my homework twice - one with all the correct answers and another with mostly wrong answers. I gave you the one with wrong answers, then - as if by miracle - realize I had “made mistakes on a bunch and changed them before class”. Oops.

Here he is, the Winner of the Class of 2015

Here he is, the Winner of the Class of 2015

(Source: College Humor)

The day before everyone left for Thanksgiving Break, our RA told us that we have to clean our rooms before we leave. My roommate decided to leave without even laying one finger on his shit. So like a little bitch, I had to clean up all his crap. But as I was cleaning, I looked by the trash can and saw a huge block of air freshener, it was literally like a 5”x8”. I put the air freshner in his bed, with his sheets over it. When the break was over, I happened to come back one or two hours before he did and I put the air freshener back by the trash can. That night he got in his bed and said “Did they do something to our beds, mine smells really funny.” So now every morning he wakes up smelling like fresh peaches (the break was a full week).

I’m interning in Hawaii for the summer, and I rented a room in a house that already had 5 people living in it, all between 19 and 40. I bought a bottle of vodka and kept it in the freezer - vodka is always good to have around in case you want a drink - only to find out one morning that someone drank the entire thing, leaving literally half a shot in it (maybe thinking that I won’t notice that the entire thing is gone). No one confessed, so I bought the cheapest vodka I could find, and filled the old bottle (of Smirnoff, nothing too classy), along with a handful of crushed, strong laxatives. Sure enough, a couple of days later I heard moaning coming from the bathroom, and upon checking, I found out that the bottle is half empty (or half full, at that point). I took a post-it, wrote “Don’t touch my vodka again, asshole”, and put it on the wall across from the bathroom. Revenge!

Of our roommates was overall awesome; however, he had a tendency to get drunk do random ridiculousness and pass out early. When he would do this we would role him up in a huge carpet remnant and put him out on the roof. Its apparently pretty hard to get out of a tightly rolled up 20ft long roll carpet. Especially when your drunk and weigh 85lbs.

Click to vote this up or down on uPick!

Click to vote this up or down on uPick!

(Source: College Humor)