Step 1: Approach subject. Step 2: Say something. Step 3: ???? Step 4: PROFIT!
Step 1: Approach subject. Step 2: Say something. Step 3: ???? Step 4: PROFIT!
The other day my girlfriend and I were hanging out and as always things began to get heated after a little while. We were both really horny so I reached my hand down her pants and started feeling around. Jeans are pretty tough to explore, being so tight, but her parents were home, so I couldn’t take them off. I finally slipped a finger inside of her and she whispers “that’s my butt”. We both burst out laughing. Definitely a keeper.
Like many couples on here, my boyfriend and I have lick fights, tickle fights (he always wins those, and initiates them, since I squeak and flail when tickled), and the usual not-so-weird couple things. I’m pretty sure his thing about sticking things up my nose it pretty unique though.
I personally like being slightly choked w/ a hand while having sex, doggy style.
Don’t be scared… be like Shay and submit your RoughLove stories to our Tumblr inbox. The rougher the better as long as the mood is right.
I Married Her For Her Port-a-Potty Farts [Click for full post]
My wife has farts that make a state fair porta-potty smell good. This has become a nightly occurrence - Anonymous
So I was over my boyfriend’s house last night, and we started messing around a little. I got on top of him and started riding him, when all of a sudden he burst out laughing. I asked what he was laughing at and all he could get out was “Reach for the stars!” After about 10 minutes of hysterical laughter, he finally explained that somehow his mind had connected the cowgirl position with Woody from Toy Story, and “reaching for the stars” was him ejaculating. What have I gotten myself into?- naturegir
Having a rough love kind of week? We understand. Share it with the world and submit your stories right here on Tumblr.
She wasn’t the cliche he was expecting.
You see, I’m quite the nerd. When I first started dating my girlfriend, we went at it in my storage room. I then proceeded to have sex with her on top of my vintage Star Wars action figure collection. At that moment I felt like I shattered nerd stereotypes. But I also found out the packaging on the top layer of figures are now in less than mint condition :(
Me and my boyfriend were hanging out when things started getting hot and heavy. When I took my top off, he looked at me and exclaimed “Yay! Boobs!”… He’s 25…. I’m pretty sure his mind stopped at 14…. It’s justified with his love of comic books!
Ironic how my ex girlfriend was the one who taught me how to sell things on eBay considering everything she bought me is now up for auction.
How to Write Bestselling Erotic Fiction [Click for all your “How To” tips]
Erotic fiction is all the rage these days — and if you’re anything like me, your first response to this trend is, “No thanks,” and your second is, “But wait — can I cash in on that?!” Well, you are in luck! I am here to tell you that writing high-quality smut is as easy as I heard you were in high school. Tramp.
There are several important guidelines to follow when writing straight-up filthy filth for the masses. Keep these simple points in mind, and in no time at all you’ll be on board the gravy train that is the growing erotic fiction market. Just don’t think about the gravy too much. Let’s get started.
Just after my girlfriend and I had some really hot sex, the fire alarm in her apartment building began screeching. That night we learned how fast the two of us could get dressed. Well…mostly dressed. I’m sure nobody noticed right? - Anonymous
I was having sex with this guy on his bedroom floor and got my period and it stained the carpet. I was too embarrassed to own up to it, so I convinced him that there must be something wrong with him because he came blood. He then spent the rest of the month freaking out because he thought his dick was broken. Little did he know, it was just my lady business. Sorry, not sorry. - averageandboring
Girls, an (useful) advice from a girl who’s boyfriend is a nerd: Give him a blowjob when he’s gaming! Seriously, the look on his face is priceless and he’ll be thankful. I promise! ;) - Riiwii
My girlfriend and I were about about to have sex when she said “Get in my belly”, I asked what said not quite believing what I had heard and she repeated “Get in my belly”. Needless to say it’s hard to be turned on when your girlfriend is impersonating Fat Bastard. - Anonymous
There’s more rough loving here where you can also submit your own story or just hit up our Tumblr inbox with it. We always check.
Rough Love: Does it still count as sex if the guy can’t get it up? [Click for more]
One out of three guys I’ve slept with couldn’t get it up. I wonder if it still counts as sleeping with them and whether I’m considered a slut, or maybe I’m just too hot and they were extremely nervous…. - Anonymous
Before me and my ex ever slept together (actual sleeping in a bed) she would spend forever in the bathroom. When I asked her one time why this was she left the room and came back with a note that said “I have bad gas at night”…She did! - Anonymous
One night I was over at my boyfriend’s house (now my ex). We were making out and it was getting pretty intense. At almost the exact moment our hands got into each other’s pants his dad opened the bedroom door we forgot to lock and said, “You guys coming down for dinner? Or have you already eaten?” - Anonymous
Share your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories in our Tumblr inbox or submit them here at the bottom of the page.
Rough Love: Slow Dancing, Roosters, and Pokeballs [Click for more]
Rough Love is back by popular demand! It’s the column where we share your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories.
My dad is cheating on my stepmother with my mother. Both think he’s going to leave one for the other. I want to hit him. - Rose
This girl I’m seeing now is a huge nerd just like me. She took a plain white bra and drew on the cups to make them look like Pokeballs. Knowing she had this on one day I said, “I see you have two hidden items under your shirt.” We both couldn’t stop laughing for 20 minutes. - Anonymous
I was once at a dance with a boyfriend of mine. We were slow dancing and he was singing the song to me. Not only did his voice sound like a distressed cat, but he proceeded to ask me, in the middle of the song, if i could “feel his excitement”. I didn’t know slow dancing could make a guy horny. - Anonymous
If you think you can top this batch of rough loving, submit your story here or just send it to our Tumblr inbox and we’ll read it right there!
Why Beyonce and Jay-Z Need to Break Up [Click for more]
In “Regret Everything” comedian Will Hines tells us what thoughts have been gnawing at his brain.
Generally, I’m a moral person. But when it comes to my pop music, my brain shifts fully into evil villain mode. No heartbreak is too horrible for the sake of making my Spotify playlists more terrific! These pop stars are no longer human: they are machines. Machines of sadness that totally get what it means to land a solid pop hook.
Given unlimited funds, I would not pursue political power nor lobby to help society. But I would conspire to make Rihanna mad at someone, and then provide ample studio time and a sick rhythm section.
My ultimate plan is perhaps too horrible to even write down. But here it is: Continue reading
Rough Love: We’re Back! - Welcome back to Rough Love, the column where we share your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories. If you think you can top this batch of rough loving, you can submit your story at the bottom of the article.
My ex-boyfriend decided to call me after months of us not talking to one another. He told me how much he missed me and how we should get back together. After about 20 minutes of this he tells me he got some girl pregnant. “But we could make it work.” Asshole.
My boyfriend dared me to hack his email account, so I tried to retreive his password using his secret question. Which he forgot was “what bitch won’t put out?” and is mad at me for guessing right… My own name.
I once accidentally burped in my gf’s mouth while making out.
I Think My Roommate’s Novel Is About Me [Click for more]
The truth is stranger than fiction. And more passive aggressive.
BearShark: Love [Click to watch]
And click to figure out what the heck happened between these two moments.
16 Steps To Ensure You Have A Great Valentine’s Day Date [Click to see them all]
The key is eating all the really classy shit.
Will you eat my Valentine?