Some insane tips that will take your game to another world.
1. Turn Into A Wolf And Howl At Them
A classic move. The “howling” lets the lady know that her physical appearance is pleasing to you, while your new wolf head shows her that you have a WILD SIDE and are also now a wolf.
2. Make An Old Timey “AAAAWOOOOOGAHHH!!!!” Car Horn Noise
What’s that old expression about “Women and Cars”? I don’t know. There may not be one. But if there were, it’d probably be something along the lines of “Women love old timey car horn noises and will insta-date any living thing that produces them.”
3. Have Your Heart Beat Super Loudly Out Of Your Chest
The name of the game is “subtlety,” and there’s nothing more subtle than having your heart leap out of your chest and make a thumping noise in the direction of your potential romantic interest. She won’t know what that pounding, heart-shaped object under your shirt is. A box of chocolates? Your literal heart?? Now you’ve got so much intrigue you’re literally James Bond.
Finish reading 7 Awesome Pickup Lines I Learned From Cartoons
There’s a solution for every sexnario.
3 MORE of the Worst Case Scenarios During Sex, and How to Deal With Them [Click because we know you want it]
Deploy any one of these techniques and your penis will be wrapped in the warm embrace of a lover’s grip faster than you can say “hand jobs actually aren’t that great.”
1. Ask for a blow job. This is the classic negotiation technique of asking for more than what you want, or “anchoring”.
2. Promise to get her off afterwards. This is a classic negotiation technique called “lying.”
3. You know how dogs will sometimes cutely nudge their noses underneath their owner’s hand so that before the owner knows it, they’re actively petting the dog? That, but with your dick. Keep reading
(Source: College Humor)
11 Pickup Lines to Use When It’s Hot Out [Click for more hotness]
It’s hot, and so are you.
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Pizza Is My Girlfriend [Click for nail-biting ending]
So this is what true love feels like.
Man of Steel Pickup Lines [Click for more]
Guaranteed to steel her heart.
Rough Love: Hey, Girlfriend’s Mom and Girlfriend’s Dad![Click for more]
I never figured out what to call my girlfriend’s parents. No Mr and Mrs ____, no first names, just never figured it out. Decided I’d just go with the whole make eye contact and start talking thing. I did this for nine years. They didn’t notice until I brought it up during my speech at our wedding.
My boyfriend and I realized we both lost our virginity, to each other, watching Grandma’s Boy while high.
If you have a more magical story on how you lost your virginity (not possible) then send it to our Tumblr inbox.
Step 1: Approach subject. Step 2: Say something. Step 3: ???? Step 4: PROFIT!
The other day my girlfriend and I were hanging out and as always things began to get heated after a little while. We were both really horny so I reached my hand down her pants and started feeling around. Jeans are pretty tough to explore, being so tight, but her parents were home, so I couldn’t take them off. I finally slipped a finger inside of her and she whispers “that’s my butt”. We both burst out laughing. Definitely a keeper.
Like many couples on here, my boyfriend and I have lick fights, tickle fights (he always wins those, and initiates them, since I squeak and flail when tickled), and the usual not-so-weird couple things. I’m pretty sure his thing about sticking things up my nose it pretty unique though.
I personally like being slightly choked w/ a hand while having sex, doggy style.
Don’t be scared… be like Shay and submit your RoughLove stories to our Tumblr inbox. The rougher the better as long as the mood is right.
I Married Her For Her Port-a-Potty Farts [Click for full post]
My wife has farts that make a state fair porta-potty smell good. This has become a nightly occurrence - Anonymous
So I was over my boyfriend’s house last night, and we started messing around a little. I got on top of him and started riding him, when all of a sudden he burst out laughing. I asked what he was laughing at and all he could get out was “Reach for the stars!” After about 10 minutes of hysterical laughter, he finally explained that somehow his mind had connected the cowgirl position with Woody from Toy Story, and “reaching for the stars” was him ejaculating. What have I gotten myself into?- naturegir
Having a rough love kind of week? We understand. Share it with the world and submit your stories right here on Tumblr.
She wasn’t the cliche he was expecting.