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Excerpts from my John Boehner Cross-Over Fan Fiction [Click to continue reading]
Speaker John Boehner wasn’t going down without the last word. “I’m afraid we’ve got more Covenant on the way,” buzzed the Cortana AI. The Master Chief was already on it, jumping into the swarm of Brutes with his rifle blazing white-hot. An Elite made the charge toward Boehner, but the Ohio public servant’s impressive torso – sculpted on the Moeller High Football Field – deflected every attack before unleashing an assault of his own with the Springfield Rifle it was his God-given right to carry.“Thanks for the assist,” quipped the stoic Spartan as he and Boehner mentally fist-bumped. Cortana quickly cut in, “No time to rest boys, we’ve got to reach the United Nations Space Command before…” Boehner held up his hand with a well-earned air of authority, “The UN!? You seriously put the United Nations in charge of the space army?” The silence said it all.“Aliens are not the problem here! The only real way to save humanity is to reduce this bloated space government and its uncontrollable, unsustainable spaceship spending.” The Master Chief looked deep into Boehner’s eyes, sensing both the conviction and righteousness of his fellow super human’s cause. The chief reloaded his shotgun. “It’s time to put our fiscal house in order.” [Keep Reading]

Excerpts from my John Boehner Cross-Over Fan Fiction [Click to continue reading]

Speaker John Boehner wasn’t going down without the last word. “I’m afraid we’ve got more Covenant on the way,” buzzed the Cortana AI. The Master Chief was already on it, jumping into the swarm of Brutes with his rifle blazing white-hot. An Elite made the charge toward Boehner, but the Ohio public servant’s impressive torso – sculpted on the Moeller High Football Field – deflected every attack before unleashing an assault of his own with the Springfield Rifle it was his God-given right to carry.

“Thanks for the assist,” quipped the stoic Spartan as he and Boehner mentally fist-bumped. Cortana quickly cut in, “No time to rest boys, we’ve got to reach the United Nations Space Command before…” Boehner held up his hand with a well-earned air of authority, “The UN!? You seriously put the United Nations in charge of the space army?” The silence said it all.

“Aliens are not the problem here! The only real way to save humanity is to reduce this bloated space government and its uncontrollable, unsustainable spaceship spending.” The Master Chief looked deep into Boehner’s eyes, sensing both the conviction and righteousness of his fellow super human’s cause. The chief reloaded his shotgun. “It’s time to put our fiscal house in order.” [Keep Reading]

News Feed History of the World: October 2012 [Click to continue]

News Feed History of the World: October 2012 [Click to continue]

[Continue reading]

Bro Ryan
Chillax man, it’s just tax cuts for the rich, broseph.

Bro Ryan

Chillax man, it’s just tax cuts for the rich, broseph.

(Source: TIME)

Presidential Debate Drinking Game [Click for full rules]
Print this sucker out and get ready for a hangover.

Presidential Debate Drinking Game [Click for full rules]

Print this sucker out and get ready for a hangover.

Mitt Romney Makes a New Friend at Chipotle
Guacamole’s $1.50 extra? Well then no thank you, friend.

Mitt Romney Makes a New Friend at Chipotle

Guacamole’s $1.50 extra? Well then no thank you, friend.

(Source: The Atlantic)

Political Party Picker [Click to begin picking]
With the election just around the corner, our Party Picker is here to help you pin down your political identity and find out what in the world you really stand for. 100% accuracy, guaranteed.

Political Party Picker [Click to begin picking]

With the election just around the corner, our Party Picker is here to help you pin down your political identity and find out what in the world you really stand for. 100% accuracy, guaranteed.

What Kids Think About the 2012 Presidential Election

Finally, the answer to “Who wins the electoral vote under the sea?”

(Source: youtube.com)

Mitt Romney’s New Dubstep Ad

Republicans have rallied all around this great nation, waiting patiently for the drop.

(Source: youtube.com)

Mitt Romney with a Little Face

Itty bitty Mitty.

(Source: youtube.com)

Romney Supporter Rap Video

“What a fabulous ‘hip-hop.’ Just terrific.” – Mitt Romney

(Source: youtube.com)

Obama Chair Responds to Clint Eastwood’s Speech at RNC

Hope you can sit on.

(Source: youtube.com)

12 Pictures of Donkeys [Click to view entire gallery]
The Republicans got their elephants last week, now with the Democratic National Convention it’s time for a gallery of donkeys. The donkey has been used as a symbol ever since Andrew Jackson was called a jackass in 1828. So let’s take a look at some other fine asses in this gallery of 12 donkey pictures.

12 Pictures of Donkeys [Click to view entire gallery]

The Republicans got their elephants last week, now with the Democratic National Convention it’s time for a gallery of donkeys. The donkey has been used as a symbol ever since Andrew Jackson was called a jackass in 1828. So let’s take a look at some other fine asses in this gallery of 12 donkey pictures.

Clint Eastwood Talking to a Chair (the song)

Go ahead, punk. Take a seat.

(Source: youtube.com)

The Worst Jokes of Day 3 at the Republican National Convention

Networks have reportedly shown interest in giving Time Pawlenty “the Louis C.K.” deal.

(Source: youtube.com)