Follow Us

CollegeHumor Staff Blog

9 Pick-Up Lines That Are Definite Red Flags

image

Because you’ve been running through my mind all day and you look kind of out of shape. But don’t worry, I like ‘em thick.

image

Just kidding, I know you come here every Thursday after work.

image

I would put ‘P’ on top of ‘U’

image

When you waged war against God and he cast you out of heaven, hail Satan.

image

Enough to feed a man for a few months, provided the Zoo doesn’t catch him first.

image

Because I totally think the South will rise again. 

Finish reading 9 Pick-Up Lines That Are Definite Red Flags

Staff Jokes - February 1, 2013 [Click for more]
It’s funny, AND you could learn somethin’.

Staff Jokes - February 1, 2013 [Click for more]

It’s funny, AND you could learn somethin’.




10 Roommate Red Flags

3. He Has Pet Reptiles or Arachnids - 
The only exception to this rule is if he has an iguana. Those things are badass and are a true staple of the “green” community. Anything else, though, like snakes and spiders, is just kinda creepy. The last thing I want to do is be worried about spiders and snakes in my bed every time one of my leg hairs twitches. I suggest you let your repti-phile roommate stick around just long enough so that you get to watch him feed a mouse to his pet snake and then give him his walking papers.
[Keep Reading]

10 Roommate Red Flags

3. He Has Pet Reptiles or Arachnids - 

The only exception to this rule is if he has an iguana. Those things are badass and are a true staple of the “green” community. Anything else, though, like snakes and spiders, is just kinda creepy. The last thing I want to do is be worried about spiders and snakes in my bed every time one of my leg hairs twitches. I suggest you let your repti-phile roommate stick around just long enough so that you get to watch him feed a mouse to his pet snake and then give him his walking papers.

[Keep Reading]

(Source: College Humor)

10 Roommate Red Flags

3. TUNA - Tuna is great, right? It’s low-calorie, high-protein, and Jessica Simpson calls it chicken. What’s not to like? 
Clearly you’re fucking insane. It smells worse than gym socks, under-the-cover farts, and Play-it-Again-Sports. If you’ve got a roommate that nukes this stuff your place is going to become a permanent hell hole that no one will want to step into. Good luck getting laid until you move out.
[Keep Reading]

10 Roommate Red Flags

3. TUNA - Tuna is great, right? It’s low-calorie, high-protein, and Jessica Simpson calls it chicken. What’s not to like? 

Clearly you’re fucking insane. It smells worse than gym socks, under-the-cover farts, and Play-it-Again-Sports. If you’ve got a roommate that nukes this stuff your place is going to become a permanent hell hole that no one will want to step into. Good luck getting laid until you move out.

[Keep Reading]

(Source: College Humor)