The Many Deaths of Toby, the Wolverine Mascot from Red Dawn [Full Post]
Moonwalked into a minefield.
Failed to give correct password to a sentry. Handler explained mascots don’t speak. Handler was also shot on the spot.
Hilarious lewd dance performed around Captain Lee of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea Armed Forces led to much less hilarious repeated stabbings by bayonet.
Accidental discharge of t-shirt cannon gave away position as well as several “Wolverines Roar!” novelty shirts to North Korean troops.
Mascot Fight with official North Korean mascot became bloodbath after it turned out Kim Jong Un “mascot” actually real person who leads North Korea.
Handsprings into minefield. [Keep Reading]

The Many Deaths of Toby, the Wolverine Mascot from Red Dawn [Full Post]

  1. Moonwalked into a minefield.
  2. Failed to give correct password to a sentry. Handler explained mascots don’t speak. Handler was also shot on the spot.
  3. Hilarious lewd dance performed around Captain Lee of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea Armed Forces led to much less hilarious repeated stabbings by bayonet.
  4. Accidental discharge of t-shirt cannon gave away position as well as several “Wolverines Roar!” novelty shirts to North Korean troops.
  5. Mascot Fight with official North Korean mascot became bloodbath after it turned out Kim Jong Un “mascot” actually real person who leads North Korea.
  6. Handsprings into minefield. [Keep Reading]