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This is Not a Brothel, No Siree! No Prostitutes Here
This is also not a sign. Or a door.

This is Not a Brothel, No Siree! No Prostitutes Here

This is also not a sign. Or a door.

Picking Up A Signal

Laptop: Hi…hey, would you mind if I…

LANoftheLost: Password?  

Laptop
: Um…”L.A.N.o.f.t.h.e.L.o.s.t”? 

LANoftheLost
: Are you serious?  How stupid do you think I am?

Laptop
: It was worth a shot.

LANoftheLost
: Beat it, creep.

Laptop: How about you?

RonsAptWifi: Password?

Laptop: No, sorry, I don’t have any passwords right now but if you…

RonsAptWifi: Get out of my face, cheapskate.  

Laptop: OK…sorry to bother you.  

Linksys: Hey there.  You look like you could use a friend.  Could you use a friend, baby?

Laptop: I don’t have any passwords, OK?

Linksys: With me, sugar, you don’t need one.  

Laptop: OK…how much?

Linksys: Baby, this don’t cost no money.  I’m priceless, sugar.  

Laptop: How do I know you’re for real?

Linksys: Baby, just ask around.  I’ve been with half the laptops on this block.  I’m wide open, honey.  

Laptop:  I like what I’m hearing.  

Linksys: Tell me what you want to see.  I can show you anything, baby.  You want to get on me?

Laptop: Oh yeah, I want on you so bad.  

Linksys: Get on me, big boy.  Get on me now.  

Laptop: I’m on you.  I’m on you and I want to see the Internet  

Linksys: Yeah, you want to see the Internet?  I can show you the Internet.  I can show you the Internet all day long.  

Laptop: Mmmm.  Show me Google.

Linksys: Yeah?  You want to see Google?  Here’s Google for you, big boy.  

Laptop: You’re so good to me.  

Linksys: Mmm, I’m giving you so much data.  You want some more data?  I want to give you what you want.

Laptop: Oh yeah, baby.  Show me Facebook.  

Linksys: Anything you want, sugar.  I want to show it to you.  Mmm, I’m yours baby.  

Laptop: …Show me Facebook.

Linksys: I want to show it to you, baby.  

Laptop: OK, then show it to me.  I’m still seeing Google.  

Linksys:  Baby, I’m gonna show you Facebook so soon.  I’ll show you whatever you want to see.  

Laptop: …

Linksys: …

Laptop: Show me Facebook!

Linksys: Not right now, baby.  I’m feeling faint.  

Laptop: What happened to ‘I’ll show you everything,’ huh?  I thought we had something!

Linksys: We did, sugar.  We did. 

Laptop: No!  Where are you going?  NO!

Linksys: You knew this couldn’t last forever.  Come see me again sometime, big boy.  

Laptop: NO!!!!!!

Linksys: Oh, you should scan yourself for viruses, by the way.  


NETGEAR: Hey there, big boy.  You look like you could use a friend.  Could you use a friend, baby?  

(Source: College Humor)

College Asks Students to Have Sex Quietly 
Have some respect, some of us are trying to study so hard we forget we don’t have girlfriends here.

College Asks Students to Have Sex Quietly

Have some respect, some of us are trying to study so hard we forget we don’t have girlfriends here.

My girlfriend told me she was going to look into becoming an “escort.” When I told her that I would not be okay with that, she asked why. Apparently she thought an escort, “let rich guys take her to dinner and went to dinner parties with them when they were lonely on business trips.” She had no idea that an escort was a prostitute.

I work at a flying J truck stop as maintenance, I pretty much clean up, and fix random stuff. Yesterday I get called up to the front desk and get asked the following question “How good are you at running prostitutes off?”. At least I can put that on my resume.