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Barack Obama Singing Timber by Pitbull (ft. Hillary Clinton)

Hail to the Pitbull.

(Source: College Humor)

7 Frontrunners for the 2048 Presidential Election »

The First Internet President

He doesn’t care if you’re fake or gay now.

(Source: youtube.com)

We have a new game for you to play - Government Beat Down! Meet your Congressman in the ring and blow off some shutdown steam! Start steaming now. 

We have a new game for you to play - Government Beat Down! Meet your Congressman in the ring and blow off some shutdown steam! Start steaming now

BREAKING NEWS: The President is a Person
But the real question is, where do we go from here?

BREAKING NEWS: The President is a Person

But the real question is, where do we go from here?

(Source: twitpic.com)

The government has been less than graceful in the past few weeks. But hey! Here’s an idea! Let’s count our blessings, it could be a lot worse! For instance, an ordinary guy like me could be in charge. Here’s a look at my official itinerary for a day in the life of me as president.
8:00AM - Give congress a piece of my mind WE DESERVE BETTER! We have spent TOO LONG waiting for change. First thing on my list, bust into the Congress house and let them know that the jig is up. Just kidding. I don’t know what congress does.
8:00AM - Google what congress does/where it is Honestly, if I were president for a day, I’d spend a good deal of time Googling things. For instance: I don’t know what this Congress business is all about. I’m not even sure if it’s technically even a real physical thing. It could just be a collective noun for an abstract concept, like “zeitgeist”, or “ethos”.
8:45AM - Google what the senate does, which is apparently NOT the same thing as congress You learn something new every day, and in my case, as president, I’ve learned that while Congress IS a real physical entity that I can show up to, it’s kind of split up into “The Senate,” and “The House of Representatives.” It’s very much an “all squares are not rectangles” situation. But see, these are things that I bet you the real president already knows and thus, another poignant reason we shouldn’t be so hard on the guy.
9:30AM - Visit the subterranean bunkers and read some top secret files Instagram all files written in “courier” font because that’s retro, which is cool. Play fallout-shelter hide and seek with the secret service (I hear they’re VERY good). Make shadow puppets, etc.
11:00AM - Spend some time reflecting in the presidential library And by that I mean, sequester myself for a couple hours to cram as many episodes of The West Wing into one sitting as I can. I’m not an Aaron Sorkin fan, really, because I don’t like it when characters “talk” because I have a hard time deciphering human emotions from “words”, but a little exposure to the whole politics game couldn’t hurt!
11:03AM - Watch 1600 Penn instead. Okay, so The West Wing is a little above my reading-level. Whatever though, 1600 Penn is the same thing, just with Bill Pullman (who has played the President TWICE, which absolutely counts for something).
11:05AM - 12:30 PM - As it turns out 1600 Penn is also a nudge or several above my reading-level. But I did manage to catch up on How I Met Your Mother. Good show. Great show.
12:30 PM - Fix the Economy, Fix the Debt Crisis, Fix Marriage Equality I mean. You know… There’s a lot of paperwork to sort through here, and really it’s the thought that counts. And I did think about it.
12:30PM - End World Hunger Starting with ME. Time to check out the Whitehouse foodcourt.
12:30PM - 3:00PM - Get lunch at the White House’s on-site McDonald’s So the whole McDonald’s in the Whitehouse thing as an old made up folk legend, which is unfortunate because that was one of the main selling points of being president. In case anyone is wondering, I was thinking of Richie Rich.

Finish reading: It could be worse! - What I’d Probably Do If I Were President for a Day

The government has been less than graceful in the past few weeks. But hey! Here’s an idea! Let’s count our blessings, it could be a lot worse! For instance, an ordinary guy like me could be in charge. Here’s a look at my official itinerary for a day in the life of me as president.

8:00AM - Give congress a piece of my mind WE DESERVE BETTER! We have spent TOO LONG waiting for change. First thing on my list, bust into the Congress house and let them know that the jig is up. Just kidding. I don’t know what congress does.

8:00AM - Google what congress does/where it is Honestly, if I were president for a day, I’d spend a good deal of time Googling things. For instance: I don’t know what this Congress business is all about. I’m not even sure if it’s technically even a real physical thing. It could just be a collective noun for an abstract concept, like “zeitgeist”, or “ethos”.

8:45AM - Google what the senate does, which is apparently NOT the same thing as congress You learn something new every day, and in my case, as president, I’ve learned that while Congress IS a real physical entity that I can show up to, it’s kind of split up into “The Senate,” and “The House of Representatives.” It’s very much an “all squares are not rectangles” situation. But see, these are things that I bet you the real president already knows and thus, another poignant reason we shouldn’t be so hard on the guy.

9:30AM - Visit the subterranean bunkers and read some top secret files Instagram all files written in “courier” font because that’s retro, which is cool. Play fallout-shelter hide and seek with the secret service (I hear they’re VERY good). Make shadow puppets, etc.

11:00AM - Spend some time reflecting in the presidential library And by that I mean, sequester myself for a couple hours to cram as many episodes of The West Wing into one sitting as I can. I’m not an Aaron Sorkin fan, really, because I don’t like it when characters “talk” because I have a hard time deciphering human emotions from “words”, but a little exposure to the whole politics game couldn’t hurt!

11:03AM - Watch 1600 Penn instead. Okay, so The West Wing is a little above my reading-level. Whatever though, 1600 Penn is the same thing, just with Bill Pullman (who has played the President TWICE, which absolutely counts for something).

11:05AM - 12:30 PM - As it turns out 1600 Penn is also a nudge or several above my reading-level. But I did manage to catch up on How I Met Your Mother. Good show. Great show.

12:30 PM - Fix the Economy, Fix the Debt Crisis, Fix Marriage Equality I mean. You know… There’s a lot of paperwork to sort through here, and really it’s the thought that counts. And I did think about it.

12:30PM - End World Hunger Starting with ME. Time to check out the Whitehouse foodcourt.

12:30PM - 3:00PM - Get lunch at the White House’s on-site McDonald’s So the whole McDonald’s in the Whitehouse thing as an old made up folk legend, which is unfortunate because that was one of the main selling points of being president. In case anyone is wondering, I was thinking of Richie Rich.

Finish reading: It could be worse! - What I’d Probably Do If I Were President for a Day

True diplomacy comes from the heart.

Finish reading Obama’s Phone Call with the President of Iran Gets Emotional

Presidents with Awesomely Terrible Mustaches [Click for more staches]
Not even the leaders of the free world can make them look good. 

Presidents with Awesomely Terrible Mustaches [Click for more staches]

Not even the leaders of the free world can make them look good. 

(Source: College Humor)

Barack Obama Singing Get Lucky by Daft Punk

FOUR MORE YEARS…of disco

(Source: youtube.com)

Conan O’Brien’s 2013 White House Correspondents’ Dinner Speech

Is Team Coco a political party?

(Source: youtube.com)

President Obama’s 2013 White House Correspondents’ Dinner Speech

Jokester in chief.

(Source: youtube.com)

Obama Has a Special Message For You
These state of the union addresses get better each time

Obama Has a Special Message For You

These state of the union addresses get better each time

(Source: notoriousgifs)

The Walking Dead Meets Congress

The government is deadlocked and there’s no way out. All in favor of being terrified? 

The Sasha and Malia Show

This is photobama.

(Source: youtube.com)

The 77 Greatest U.S. Presidents Ever [Click for full list]
Ranking All 77 U.S. Presidents In Order Of Greatness!!! Wait, what?


1. George Washington2. Abraham Lincoln3. Thomas Jefferson4. John AdamsT-5. Theodore RooseveltT-5. Franklin D. Roosevelt7. John F. Kennedy8. Dwight Eisenhower9. Harry Truman



10. Andrew Jackson11. James Madison12. Woodrow Wilson13. James Monroe14. Bill Clinton15. John Quincy Adams16. Ronald Reagan17. James K. Polk18. Lyndon Johnson19. Barack Obama



20. Martin Van Buren21. George H.W. Bush22. Gerald Ford23. Herbert Hoover24. Jimmy Carter24. William H. Taft25. John Quincy Adams26. Grover Cleveland27. Rutherford B. Hayes28. Martin Van Buren29. Chester A. Arthur



30. James A. Garfield31. Calvin Coolidge32. Richard Nixon33. William McKinley34. Zachary Taylor35. John Tyler36. Benjamin Harrison37. William Henry Harrison38. George W. Bush39. Millard Fillmore



40. Franklin Pierce41. Ulysses S. Grant42. Andrew Johnson43. James Buchanan44. Warren Harding
45. …Uhoh.
46. You guys, I promised my editors a list of 77 of these for a wacky, themed President’s Day list. Do you KNOW what happens if I can’t fulfill my Internet List Quota?? THEY’LLBREAK MY THUMBS THEN TURN THE VIDEO OF THEM BREAKING MY THUMBS INTO AGIF AND POST THAT GIF WITH NO LINKBACK CREDIT TO ME!!! And that’s for a FIRSToffense.
47. OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD WHAT WAS I THINKING??? God Dammit Hopper –SEVENTY-SEVEN PRESIDENTS??? You fucking moron. You could’ve just done 20 or even, oh I don’t know, FORTY-FOUR, how about that number? But no, had to be “better” than the other 9 trillion other Presidential-Ranking lists on the internet and now you’ve federally fucked yourself.
48. Alright, alright, don’t panic. I’m sure I can pad this list with some more presidents and/or random shit from the 90s. CONTINUE

The 77 Greatest U.S. Presidents Ever [Click for full list]

Ranking All 77 U.S. Presidents In Order Of Greatness!!! Wait, what?

1. George Washington
2. Abraham Lincoln
3. Thomas Jefferson
4. John Adams
T-5. Theodore Roosevelt
T-5. Franklin D. Roosevelt
7. John F. Kennedy
8. Dwight Eisenhower
9. Harry Truman

The 77 Greatest US Presidents Ever - Image 1

10. Andrew Jackson
11. James Madison
12. Woodrow Wilson
13. James Monroe
14. Bill Clinton
15. John Quincy Adams
16. Ronald Reagan
17. James K. Polk
18. Lyndon Johnson
19. Barack Obama

The 77 Greatest US Presidents Ever - Image 1

20. Martin Van Buren
21. George H.W. Bush
22. Gerald Ford
23. Herbert Hoover
24. Jimmy Carter
24. William H. Taft
25. John Quincy Adams
26. Grover Cleveland
27. Rutherford B. Hayes
28. Martin Van Buren
29. Chester A. Arthur

The 77 Greatest US Presidents Ever - Image 1

30. James A. Garfield
31. Calvin Coolidge
32. Richard Nixon
33. William McKinley
34. Zachary Taylor
35. John Tyler
36. Benjamin Harrison
37. William Henry Harrison
38. George W. Bush
39. Millard Fillmore

The 77 Greatest US Presidents Ever - Image 1

40. Franklin Pierce
41. Ulysses S. Grant
42. Andrew Johnson
43. James Buchanan
44. Warren Harding

45. …Uhoh.

46. You guys, I promised my editors a list of 77 of these for a wacky, themed President’s Day list. Do you KNOW what happens if I can’t fulfill my Internet List Quota?? THEY’LLBREAK MY THUMBS THEN TURN THE VIDEO OF THEM BREAKING MY THUMBS INTO AGIF AND POST THAT GIF WITH NO LINKBACK CREDIT TO ME!!! And that’s for a FIRSToffense.

47. OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD WHAT WAS I THINKING??? God Dammit Hopper –SEVENTY-SEVEN PRESIDENTS??? You fucking moron. You could’ve just done 20 or even, oh I don’t know, FORTY-FOUR, how about that number? But no, had to be “better” than the other 9 trillion other Presidential-Ranking lists on the internet and now you’ve federally fucked yourself.

48. Alright, alright, don’t panic. I’m sure I can pad this list with some more presidents and/or random shit from the 90s. CONTINUE