If anyone from another country asks you to explain baseball, just send them this video and be like “Make sense?”
Roommate Confessions: Sit on a Barbed Wire Dildo [Click for more]
He pissed me off to the point where I told him to sit on a barbwire dildo and changed every language on his PS3 to different languages. some korean, others spanish, and who knows what else.
My housemate went overseas for 6 months and left me with a 50 year old Iranian man who would spend close to an hour in the toilet each night and cut his nose hairs before arranging them neatly on the tap. Anyway. The day before I finally moved out I poured milk on her mattress so she would never be able to quite get that smell out of her room without getting a new bed.
The first time I met my freshman college roommate, I was leaving the room after having unpacked my things while he was coming in to unpack his. The second time I met him was later that day when I unlocked the door to find him sitting on the bed with a blanket over his lap with his girlfriend standing next to the bed. His parents were nowhere to be found. Mine, fortunately, along with my younger brother and sister, walked in with me.
I was so pissed at my previous roommate that I actually pissed in some of her perfume.
Our first entirely Tumblr submitted Roommate Confessions post. If you’d like to be featured in our column then submit your stories straight to our Tumblr. We won’t judge you, but other people probably will.
Graduation is a time for celebration. However, sometimes these celebrations can run a little long, sometimes they can even be dare I say… boring? Maybe consider adding a spontaneous beach ball toss, or a good ole’ fashion streaking to your special day! We can personally guarantee you’ll have just as much fun as these lucky graduates.
Roommate Confessions: Superglued Her Door Shut [Click for all]
Welcome to Roommate Confessions, the column where we share the worst stuff you’ve done to your roommate.
Your bed has gone through a lot while you were gone. I puked on it, farted on it, and dried my dishes on it. Is that not ok?
i hated my old housemates, they hated me. I had to move out so they wouldnt beat me up and i was homeless. I pissed on everybody tooth brush EVERY day and replaced facewash with piss. Sucked in dickheads!
My roommate had a really nice razor that she used for her upper lip. When she pissed me off I used to use it to shave my pubes.
You can submit your own “Roommate Confessions” like these lovely people did straight to our Tumblr.
I’ve got the jerseys of all the best fake players
My roommate is so messy it’s disgusting. Weird smells come out of her room…I can’t even describe it, its like BO and sweaty gym socks and god only knows. There are crumbs all over our kitchen constantly no matter how much I clean it. I had to put out ant traps cuz I’m sure we will get ants sooner or later. She is always dropping things into the little metal things under the coils of the stove and never cleans it out after! Hello?? That stuff is gonna just burn later….when I’m cooking…. She has never once cleaned a thing in our apartment…ever. But I repay her for that because after I clean the bathroom I dry off all the surfaces with her face towel and then hang it back on the hook so she will use it to dry her face the next morning. I also put a few drops of pickle juice in her half gone gallon of milk so she thought it spoiled and threw it out….and I’ve done this a few times…love seeing her waste money. On an unrelated note….she contributed next to nothing to our apartment. Well that’s gonna bite her in the ass when I tell her I’m not renewing our lease and then she will be stuck with an apartment with nothing in it except her bed, a couch, and a frying pan. Whoops, guess she just won’t have a roommate but will be stuck here for her job ….or she can go back home and live with her parents. HA! Oh yea, and bitch has GOT to learn to chew with her mouth closed. No one wants to see half-eaten food rolling around in your mouth. DISGUSTING! Not to mention this girl is perpetually single. She has a gross face with no chin (how weird is that?). Not sure if she has ever dated anyone but she is so socially awkward I wouldn’t be surprised if she is 24 and still a virgin. I wish I could say all this to her face, or just be a complete bitch to her…but we work together…so I am forced to be courteous and nice. Lesson learned here: don’t ever live with someone you only know from work…chances are they are going to be a horrible roommate. Worst. Decision. Ever. - Corie
If you have a story like Corie (that rhymes) then submit yours straight to our Tumblr (that doesn’t)
Jimmy Kimmel talks to Coachella-goers about all the fictional bands that they’ve definitely totally heard of before.
Pat and Street bring their pranks to the office!
Target: Emily Axford - Watch her get CLOWNED OUT like people do on every other single prank show.
Hardly Working: What Every Prank Show Basically Is [Click to watch]
“Clowned Out”: it’s the catchphrase that keeps on giving.