“Hey remember when I asked you if you had seen my digitial camera and you said no. Well I found it in your room. So remember when school ended and you asked me if I had seen your calculator, calculus book, as well as your engineering economics book, I sold them and actually got about $300 bucks for them all and that mysterious phone tip that the cops got about where you guys smoked pot at, it was me as well. Don’t light a fire you can’t put out.. DOUCHE”

“My best friend and I had the idea of getting super baked one day, which wasn’t that different from normal. So while she was biking to my house, I picked up about 5 gs of bud. On the way to me, some guy drove by and hit her and left. Her bike was trashed and she was hurt, but okay. I had to call her parents to let them know, and they insisted that we all go down to the police station to report what had happened. We were sitting in an office with about seven police officers when an officer with a dog walks in to say something to another officer. My best friend and I just looked at each other and started laughing hysterically when we realized I had about 10 gs, my bowl, and a bottle of Xanax on me. Somehow after about an hour and a room that began to reek we made it out of there alive. We got home and toked up. Needless to say it was an interesting day.”

“I was about to leave for work one day when this new show that I was yet to see an episode of came on the TV. I ended up leaving half an hour later than usual because I had to watch it. The show was so good that it was worth the shit storm of trouble I was in when I finally showed up to work. It was The College Humor Show, and I am currently employed as a police officer in Australia.”