Man, I told you already, it’s just Capri Sun, for real.
Wake up and smell the coffee, criminals: these cops are totally about to do that themselves, they swear.
8 People Movies Made You Think You’d Meet [Click for full article]
Be it with a traffic cop, a steely judge, or your so-far humorless boss, you’re going to get into some serious trouble with someone in uniform at some point. They’ll come down hard, staring down at your crushed, pathetic face as they drive the final nail into the coffin that is your bearable life as you know it. Then you’ll say something to remind them of their childhood or dead wife or something, and everything will be fine.
Why they don’t exist: Hahahaha yeah right. I can imagine few things that are more fun than really messing someone’s existence up and getting paid for it. That’s like the best bit. You think they’re going to deny themselves that because you hopped that turnstile and resisted arrest, like, three times for LOVE? Enjoy jail. [Keep Reading]
His guitar hiding is like his guitar playing: a tight jam.
And so the singularity begins. First phase: those moving staircases we always stand on.
“I wasn’t pissed the cop arrested me, I was pissed that the drug dog sniffed out a roach in 30 seconds that I’d been trying to find for 3 months.”
Make sure to strike your attacker upon first friendly, normal greeting
Police Reports from Christmas Stories [Click to continue reading]
Nothing more impressive than nonviolent resistance…unless it’s this douchey.
“Hey remember when I asked you if you had seen my digitial camera and you said no. Well I found it in your room. So remember when school ended and you asked me if I had seen your calculator, calculus book, as well as your engineering economics book, I sold them and actually got about $300 bucks for them all and that mysterious phone tip that the cops got about where you guys smoked pot at, it was me as well. Don’t light a fire you can’t put out.. DOUCHE”