1. Every time you see a baby, you hear the soundtrack from The Omen
2. You already spend too much time cleaning up your own vomit.
3. You tried to choke out a kid in the toy aisle for touching your Legos
4. Your silverware drawer only contains sporks and bendy straws.
5. You built a beer can pyramid to hide the hole you accidently kicked in your wall.
6. You have shirts designated as “back-up” toilet paper.
7. You believe duct tape is a reasonable way to deal with a crying child.
8. “Doing laundry” means spraying your clothes with Lysol.
9. You shaved your cat and named him Gollum.
10. Your idea of a healthy diet is eating the mint from a Mojito.
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