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College Orientation Bingo

College Orientation Bingo

Even though these things appear on the college packing lists your mother keeps emailing, you don’t need them.

The 7 Things You Really Don’t Need to Bring to College [Click to finish]

I’m Ra, your RA
Alright, everyone, thanks for coming to the first meeting for 2nd Floor McCullen Hall! Yay! I’m your RA. My name is Amun-Ra, but you can just call me Ra ‘cause I’m chill like that. Let’s break the ice with a little “Two Truths and a Lie.” We’ll say two true things about ourselves and one lie, and it’s up to you to guess which one is not true. Got it? Okay. 1) I brought forth everything in creation by saying its secret name, 2) I have a falcon for a head, and 3) I’m lactose intolerant. What do you guys think…Wrong! It’s the second one. I have a falcon’s HEAD for a head, not a whole falcon. That would look stupid. That’s also a lesson about language. We all need to be sure that we choose our words carefully and keep communication open. That way we’ll all avoid conflicts. Also, avoid using “angry” words like “stupid” in public spaces. That was my bad, there. But that’s also a lesson about me. Sometimes I make mistakes too. I’m a student just like you! I also just happen to have some administrative disciplinary powers, and the power of flight. And the power to create and destroy with a word.Now, we’re all living in the same space, so let’s try to respect each other, okay? When it’s late, keep the noise down. I know some of you are going to want to party, but some of us will be studying, or sleeping, or preventing a giant snake from devouring the sun, so just keep that in mind. Party smarter, not harder.You can also find a basket of condoms on my door. Those are for you guys. And they’re free. I’m not your dad, except in the abstract sense that I created all of you, and I don’t care who you’re shacking up with or whose lettuce you’re jizzing in to establish dominance over them. Just be safe. Safety can be cool! Finish reading

I’m Ra, your RA

Alright, everyone, thanks for coming to the first meeting for 2nd Floor McCullen Hall! Yay! I’m your RA. My name is Amun-Ra, but you can just call me Ra ‘cause I’m chill like that. Let’s break the ice with a little “Two Truths and a Lie.” We’ll say two true things about ourselves and one lie, and it’s up to you to guess which one is not true. Got it? Okay. 1) I brought forth everything in creation by saying its secret name, 2) I have a falcon for a head, and 3) I’m lactose intolerant. What do you guys think…

Wrong! It’s the second one. I have a falcon’s HEAD for a head, not a whole falcon. That would look stupid. That’s also a lesson about language. We all need to be sure that we choose our words carefully and keep communication open. That way we’ll all avoid conflicts. Also, avoid using “angry” words like “stupid” in public spaces. That was my bad, there. But that’s also a lesson about me. Sometimes I make mistakes too. I’m a student just like you! I also just happen to have some administrative disciplinary powers, and the power of flight. And the power to create and destroy with a word.

Now, we’re all living in the same space, so let’s try to respect each other, okay? When it’s late, keep the noise down. I know some of you are going to want to party, but some of us will be studying, or sleeping, or preventing a giant snake from devouring the sun, so just keep that in mind. Party smarter, not harder.

You can also find a basket of condoms on my door. Those are for you guys. And they’re free. I’m not your dad, except in the abstract sense that I created all of you, and I don’t care who you’re shacking up with or whose lettuce you’re jizzing in to establish dominance over them. Just be safe. Safety can be cool! Finish reading

College Orientation Bingo »
Orientation Week Dos and Don’ts [Click to continue reading]

Orientation Week Dos and Don’ts [Click to continue reading]

If Videogames Were More Like College [Click to continue reading]

If Videogames Were More Like College [Click to continue reading]

If College Were More Like Videogames [Click to continue reading]

If College Were More Like Videogames [Click to continue reading]

What Everyone is Bringing to Your Freshman Hall [Click to continue reading]

What Everyone is Bringing to Your Freshman Hall [Click to continue reading]

Don Draper’s College Orientation

The only ice he breaks is the ice he puts in his scotch.

Orientation Week Dos and Don’ts [Click to continue reading]

Orientation Week Dos and Don’ts [Click to continue reading]

The 25 Phrases You’ll Hear During Orientation Week, And What They Really Mean [Click to continue reading]

The 25 Phrases You’ll Hear During Orientation Week, And What They Really Mean [Click to continue reading]


Sexual Orientation Survey Includes “Chinese” Option


And yet no politician is talking about Chinese marriage.

And yet no politician is talking about Chinese marriage.

(Source: College Humor)

Freshman Orientation Icebreakers

"Well, now that we all know each other, may we never speak of this again."

(Source: College Humor)

20 Things You’ll Regret Doing in College 

13. Taking all of those stupid electives freshman year -  Freshman year was full of terrible plans. There’s that haphazard attempt  at running for class president, the trip you took to see that band  that’s no longer cool, and a lifetime membership to the Greater New  England Erotic Puzzle Club. But out of all the stupid ideas, wasting all  of your electives on your first year of college is the worst. After  all, they’re the only reason you had time to do those other dumb things  in the first place.

Keep Reading

20 Things You’ll Regret Doing in College

13. Taking all of those stupid electives freshman year -
Freshman year was full of terrible plans. There’s that haphazard attempt at running for class president, the trip you took to see that band that’s no longer cool, and a lifetime membership to the Greater New England Erotic Puzzle Club. But out of all the stupid ideas, wasting all of your electives on your first year of college is the worst. After all, they’re the only reason you had time to do those other dumb things in the first place.

Keep Reading


(Source: College Humor)

20 Things You’ll Regret Doing in College

8. Wearing That Hat - The only statement you’re making by wearing a newsboy cap around campus  is that you have absolutely no idea what looks good on top of your head.  That, and you noticed your hairline was receding EXTRA! EXTRA!  fast. There isn’t one person, who doesn’t already own a newsboy cap  themselves, that will take a gander at your new gear and say, “Now that  is one dapper individual.” And if they do, it’s because they’re either  making fun of you or one trip to the vintage shop away from making the  same mistake you did. Hats are for keeping heads warm and keeping a lid  on the occasional bad hair day, not ruining social lives.

Keep Reading

20 Things You’ll Regret Doing in College

8. Wearing That Hat - The only statement you’re making by wearing a newsboy cap around campus is that you have absolutely no idea what looks good on top of your head. That, and you noticed your hairline was receding EXTRA! EXTRA! fast. There isn’t one person, who doesn’t already own a newsboy cap themselves, that will take a gander at your new gear and say, “Now that is one dapper individual.” And if they do, it’s because they’re either making fun of you or one trip to the vintage shop away from making the same mistake you did. Hats are for keeping heads warm and keeping a lid on the occasional bad hair day, not ruining social lives.

Keep Reading

(Source: College Humor)