1. Michelle Obama seen watering marijuana plants in the White House garden.
2. Romney casually mentions that he’s seen the Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sex tape.
3. Paul Ryan is actually named Ryan Paul, son of Ron Paul.
4. Mitt Romney final releases his tax records revealing that he owns the southwestern chicken franchise Los Pollos Hermanos.
5. While stumping for Obama, Bill Clinton gets his dick sucked again.
6. Tagg Romney challenges Mitt to single combat and defeats him, thus becoming the Alpha Romney.

[Keep Reading]

10 Last Minute Scandals That Could Derail The Election

1. The internet goes wild over the newly discovered confessional vlog of Felix, the gay sixth Romney boy.
2. In a jokey moment gone awry at an Ohio diner, Joe Biden shoves a veteran out of his wheelchair.
3. It is revealed that Barack and Michelle Obama have been divorced for 15 years, and that their two daughters are just child actors.
4. A failed attempt at bringing some levity to election day, Mitt Romney inexplicably votes in blackface.

[Keep Reading]

CollegeHumor’s Political Party Picker

Are you voting for the candidate that matches your beliefs? Click to find out!

cockenblog:

SNL - The Undecided Voter

The Undecided Voters of this nation still have a lot of questions. 

“When is the election? What are the names of the two people running? Can women vote?”

(Source: hulu.com, via cockenblog)

murrayed:

Mark my words friends, November is coming.

Celebrity Halloween

Trick-or-treating with the newsmakers.

But really, Donald Trump.

(Source: College Humor)

So anyway, we made you this in case you needed a break from all political rants on your dashboard right now.

Mitt Romney Won’t Release His Spotify Playlist

Let’s keep house music out of the White House.

jestcomedy:

You have a LOT to catch up on from last night’s debate:

• The Internet bravely defending Big Bird’s right to work
• The Internet meanly attacking Ann Romney’s appearance
• The New York Yankees defeating the Red Sox, Orioles, Obama, Romney, Jim Lehrer, and democracy
• All the Twitter MVPs of the Presidential debate in one place, including @FiredBigBird and @SilentJimLehrer
• This supercut of every number that was said, in order, from one to eight trillion
• 9 ways Mitt Romney will ruin PBS
• The perfect Bingo card to play along with when you catch up and watch the debate today
• And so, so, so many original GIFs of all the action

Can’t believe we missed Obama and Romney’s big kiss.

Sarah Silverman talks Voting

“Hey Black people, old people, poor people, and students! Guess what you all have in common? Lawmakers are trying to fuck you in your assholes!” 

(Source: youtube.com)

Voting Booth Talks Back

Make your voice heard. It’s National Voter Registration Day! 

Mitt Romney Breaks Down America

Last night a video from a private fundraiser was leaked where Mitt Romney claimed 47% of Americans are Obama voters who are dependent upon government, pay no income tax, and believe they are entitled to health care, food, and housing. Here’s a breakdown of the other 53% of American voters, according to Romney.