Some men just want to serve the community to the community.
Hey, Santa’s basically a home intruder in red.
And check out more Jon Lajoie on CollegeHumor.
The Pros and Cons of Dating an Artist [Click to continue reading]
Pro: Never Need a Pen Again
It’s like they come with a kit! Every artist is permanently equipped with writing instruments at all times.
Con: Unforgivably Vicious Emotional Damage
Artists are unforgiving bastards and will viciously tear your heart out. Breakups usually include personal possessions being hurled into the street, personal possessions being set on fire in the street, and personal possessions being defecated on, on fire, in the street. Also, let’s not forget the public displays of “fuck you” in the form of song, beat poem, blog post, etc. depending on the artist’s medium.
Pro: Never Need Help With Your Computer Again
Because of the exploratory nature of most artists, they generally know their way around a Macbook.
Con: You Will Be Murdered In Your Own Home
Because of their unyielding fascination and romanticization of death, you will probably be the vessel through which they live out their sick homicidal fantasies. You’ll be holding hands as you walk through a quiet park in the summer twilight and they will look at you and whisper something like, “I’ve never felt this way before.”
This may seem like a beautiful sentiment but what they really mean is that they have never before felt this hunger – this insatiable lust – for murder. [Keep Reading]
Time Traveler’s Most Wanted [Click to continue[
Time travelers don’t just make history, they rewrite it.
Payback is a non-existent bitch.
I didn’t realize Wizard of Oz was a horror movie.
Good thing Oscar has his trash can to hide in.
“So I met this girl online, and we were doing a lot of chatting, just getting-to-know you kind of stuff. After awhile of getting a feel for each others’ personalities, we get into specifics of lifestyle and such, and I tell her, “I don’t drink, smoke, swear, do drugs, or mass murder.” She instantly responds back with, “I don’t drink, smoke, swear, do drugs, and you’ll never find the bodies.” I think I’m in love…”
Almost Reading: “The Ultimate Facebook Status Update” [Click to continue reading]
Who can get more “likes”…the old-fashioned way.
(Source: College Humor)
It’s a classic mano y mano, no matter how hard you try.
Not how I would have chosen to dress up for murder, but then I’m not a murderer, so what do I know?
(Source: College Humor)