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7 Presidential Sex Moves To SPICE UP Your President's Day »
Follow Mike Trapp on Tumblr. He’s an absolute gem. 

Follow Mike Trapp on Tumblr. He’s an absolute gem. 

There’s 2 MORE!

Finish reading 7 Ways Living in New York is Like Being a Teenager Again

Flowchart: Do You Guys Want to See the Dessert Menu? [Click to finish]

Flowchart: Do You Guys Want to See the Dessert Menu? [Click to finish]

This guide will help you prepare for the transition from barely-functioning man child to barely-functioning man child with a baby sitting on his shoulders.
Throwing Your Niece/Nephew Around 
The appropriate way for an uncle to greet a niece or nephew is to pick them up and throw them like an Italian stereotype throwing around some pizza dough. With luck your niece or nephew will forever associate you with the euphoric feeling of flying. You may be concerned that tossing them around may make them uncontrollably excited, and unable to sleep. Don’t worry! This will be your sibling’s problem. Here are the three tossing techniques most recommended by top uncles.
The Lion King

The Problem Child


The Globetrotter


So You’re Going to Be an Uncle [Click to start reading]

This guide will help you prepare for the transition from barely-functioning man child to barely-functioning man child with a baby sitting on his shoulders.

Throwing Your Niece/Nephew Around

The appropriate way for an uncle to greet a niece or nephew is to pick them up and throw them like an Italian stereotype throwing around some pizza dough. With luck your niece or nephew will forever associate you with the euphoric feeling of flying. You may be concerned that tossing them around may make them uncontrollably excited, and unable to sleep. Don’t worry! This will be your sibling’s problem. Here are the three tossing techniques most recommended by top uncles.

The Lion King

The Lion King

The Problem Child

The Problem Child

The Globetrotter

The Globetrotter

So You’re Going to Be an Uncle [Click to start reading]

This guide will help you prepare for the transition from barely-functioning man child to barely-functioning man child with a baby sitting on his shoulders.

So You’re Going to Be an Uncle [Click to start reading]

This guide will help you prepare for the transition from barely-functioning man child to barely-functioning man child with a baby sitting on his shoulders.

So You’re Going to Be an Uncle [Click to start reading]

miketrapp:

I’m tempted to say this is the nerdiest thing I’ve ever written, but I don’t think that’s actually true.
READ THE REST HERE.

miketrapp:

I’m tempted to say this is the nerdiest thing I’ve ever written, but I don’t think that’s actually true.

READ THE REST HERE.

Grammar is S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Greatest Enemy

Grammar is S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Greatest Enemy

One day a man was digging through the fridge in the office lunchroom when he saw a big burrito on a shelf. He pulled it out and admired it.

"That’s a nice looking burrito," he thought, "I’m going to eat it."

An hour later the man heard a strange sound. He listened closely. It sounded like a voice.

"Where is my burrito?" it groaned.

When the man heard that, he got very scared. But he thought, “there’s no proof I took it.”

Then he heard the voice again, only closer this time.

"Seriously, guys, where is my burrito?" it groaned.

The man directed his attention back to his computer, hoping that the voice would go away. Then he heard the voice again. Right next to his desk.

"This isn’t cool. Someone took my burrito," it GROOAAAANED.

"I saw Barry eating a burrito" said Carol.

"Oh shit," thought the man, who was named Barry. He looked up at Todd, who up to this point was just a voice he had been trying to ignore.

"What the fuck, Barry?" Todd GROANED, "Why would you do that?"

Then everyone had to participate in a seminar about office courtesy run by HR, EVEN IF THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH “THE BURRITO INCIDENT”!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! 

MORE Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark to Adults

Care and Feeding for Your New, Terrible Dog »
6 Simple Ways to Improve Bars »
Angry Goatface Hopfuck IPA
Sick of all these weak-ass beers with barely any hop flavor? So are we! That’s why the brewers at Angry Goatface made this seriously hoppy IPA - the Hopfuck. It’ll fuck your face with hops. Take a sip — it’s like someone pulling your tongue out of your mouth with a pair of rusty pliers. 90% of you will hate this beer, but 10% of you will love it more than anything else and never shut up about it. That’s our promise to you.

Basically Soda Raspberry Lambic
The sweet taste of fruit, the sugary smack of berries, the saccharine flavor of rasp. These are just some of the flavors you’ll experience with one sip of Basically Soda Raspberry Lambic. Fruit forward with undertones of more fruit, this beer will set you on an adventure through flavors ranging from “syrupy” to “cloying”. “Is this even a beer?” you’ll ask. You tell us!

Steel Cabin “Not Bud” Lager
Finish readingThe Complete Guide to the Craft Beer at Your Local Bar

Angry Goatface Hopfuck IPA

Sick of all these weak-ass beers with barely any hop flavor? So are we! That’s why the brewers at Angry Goatface made this seriously hoppy IPA - the Hopfuck. It’ll fuck your face with hops. Take a sip — it’s like someone pulling your tongue out of your mouth with a pair of rusty pliers. 90% of you will hate this beer, but 10% of you will love it more than anything else and never shut up about it. That’s our promise to you.

Basically Soda Raspberry Lambic

The sweet taste of fruit, the sugary smack of berries, the saccharine flavor of rasp. These are just some of the flavors you’ll experience with one sip of Basically Soda Raspberry Lambic. Fruit forward with undertones of more fruit, this beer will set you on an adventure through flavors ranging from “syrupy” to “cloying”. “Is this even a beer?” you’ll ask. You tell us!

Steel Cabin “Not Bud” Lager

Finish readingThe Complete Guide to the Craft Beer at Your Local Bar

2 MORE Reasons Being a College Student is Just Like Being Old [Click to finish]

The Stupid Evolution of News Headlines »
I’m Ra, your RA
Alright, everyone, thanks for coming to the first meeting for 2nd Floor McCullen Hall! Yay! I’m your RA. My name is Amun-Ra, but you can just call me Ra ‘cause I’m chill like that. Let’s break the ice with a little “Two Truths and a Lie.” We’ll say two true things about ourselves and one lie, and it’s up to you to guess which one is not true. Got it? Okay. 1) I brought forth everything in creation by saying its secret name, 2) I have a falcon for a head, and 3) I’m lactose intolerant. What do you guys think…Wrong! It’s the second one. I have a falcon’s HEAD for a head, not a whole falcon. That would look stupid. That’s also a lesson about language. We all need to be sure that we choose our words carefully and keep communication open. That way we’ll all avoid conflicts. Also, avoid using “angry” words like “stupid” in public spaces. That was my bad, there. But that’s also a lesson about me. Sometimes I make mistakes too. I’m a student just like you! I also just happen to have some administrative disciplinary powers, and the power of flight. And the power to create and destroy with a word.Now, we’re all living in the same space, so let’s try to respect each other, okay? When it’s late, keep the noise down. I know some of you are going to want to party, but some of us will be studying, or sleeping, or preventing a giant snake from devouring the sun, so just keep that in mind. Party smarter, not harder.You can also find a basket of condoms on my door. Those are for you guys. And they’re free. I’m not your dad, except in the abstract sense that I created all of you, and I don’t care who you’re shacking up with or whose lettuce you’re jizzing in to establish dominance over them. Just be safe. Safety can be cool! Finish reading

I’m Ra, your RA

Alright, everyone, thanks for coming to the first meeting for 2nd Floor McCullen Hall! Yay! I’m your RA. My name is Amun-Ra, but you can just call me Ra ‘cause I’m chill like that. Let’s break the ice with a little “Two Truths and a Lie.” We’ll say two true things about ourselves and one lie, and it’s up to you to guess which one is not true. Got it? Okay. 1) I brought forth everything in creation by saying its secret name, 2) I have a falcon for a head, and 3) I’m lactose intolerant. What do you guys think…

Wrong! It’s the second one. I have a falcon’s HEAD for a head, not a whole falcon. That would look stupid. That’s also a lesson about language. We all need to be sure that we choose our words carefully and keep communication open. That way we’ll all avoid conflicts. Also, avoid using “angry” words like “stupid” in public spaces. That was my bad, there. But that’s also a lesson about me. Sometimes I make mistakes too. I’m a student just like you! I also just happen to have some administrative disciplinary powers, and the power of flight. And the power to create and destroy with a word.

Now, we’re all living in the same space, so let’s try to respect each other, okay? When it’s late, keep the noise down. I know some of you are going to want to party, but some of us will be studying, or sleeping, or preventing a giant snake from devouring the sun, so just keep that in mind. Party smarter, not harder.

You can also find a basket of condoms on my door. Those are for you guys. And they’re free. I’m not your dad, except in the abstract sense that I created all of you, and I don’t care who you’re shacking up with or whose lettuce you’re jizzing in to establish dominance over them. Just be safe. Safety can be cool! Finish reading