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What is the vetting process for asking someone to watch your stuff? Answer: nothing other than their proximity. How is that logical? Basically, you just put some rando in control of your belongings— exactly what you’re hoping to avoid. And yet, we all do it. We assume that if you sit next to someone for at least 14 seconds and they don’t murder you, they are clearly qualified to take your place as guardian of valuable personal property. 

In response to the ridiculousness of this social norm, let me suggest that the next time someone asks you to watch their stuff, you respond in one of the following ways:

Late fees are no laughing matter at the Gotham Library.

Late fees are no laughing matter at the Gotham Library.

(Source: reddit.com)

Dear Headphone Guy,
Just because the headphones are in YOUR ears, doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t hear them. You’ve got your music on full blast. If anybody over the age of thirty-five was in here, they would lecture you about hearing damage. I wouldn’t be surprised if deaf people could somehow hear this though. I feel like I’m studying at a Drake concert. A Drake concert where he plays the same song on repeat for two hours. How am I supposed to finish my work when I keep accidentally typing the lyrics to “Hold On, We’re Going Home”? Which is kind of ironic, because that’s exactly what my roommate and I are about to do if you don’t conclude this years OVO fest soon.
Finish reading Open Letters to the Most Annoying People Studying in the Library

Dear Headphone Guy,

Just because the headphones are in YOUR ears, doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t hear them. You’ve got your music on full blast. If anybody over the age of thirty-five was in here, they would lecture you about hearing damage. I wouldn’t be surprised if deaf people could somehow hear this though. I feel like I’m studying at a Drake concert. A Drake concert where he plays the same song on repeat for two hours. How am I supposed to finish my work when I keep accidentally typing the lyrics to “Hold On, We’re Going Home”? Which is kind of ironic, because that’s exactly what my roommate and I are about to do if you don’t conclude this years OVO fest soon.

Finish reading Open Letters to the Most Annoying People Studying in the Library

(Source: College Humor)

13 People Who Think Watching Porn in Public is Totally Fine [Click for more, but you really shouldn’t]

WHAT? It’s for a research paper.

Just a Girl Doing Squats on a Table in the Library
No pain, no knowledge gained.

Just a Girl Doing Squats on a Table in the Library

No pain, no knowledge gained.

(Source: uniquedaily.com)

Library Permits Quiet Weeping
SHHHHHH!!! …   just let it out

Library Permits Quiet Weeping

SHHHHHH!!! …   just let it out

(Source: reddit.com)

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Super Bowl Commercial: Oreos - Whisper Fight

Somebody’s ‘bout to get double stuf’d.

(Source: youtube.com)

Library Burns Lance Armstrong
Boom. Roasted.

Library Burns Lance Armstrong

Boom. Roasted.

(Source: hypervocal)

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Mistletoe Kiss Prank

Ha ha! That guy had to kiss a lady.

(Source: youtube.com)

Redundant Library Sign Sure is Helpful
Owned and operated by the Redundancy Department of Redundancy. 

Redundant Library Sign Sure is Helpful

Owned and operated by the Redundancy Department of Redundancy. 

(Source: reddit.com)

Glory Hole
The used bookstore had an awesome glory hole.

Glory Hole

The used bookstore had an awesome glory hole.

(Source: collegehumor.comlle)

Letters Home From Finals Week
Dearest girl I hooked up with last weekend…

Letters Home From Finals Week

Dearest girl I hooked up with last weekend…

(Source: College Humor)

The 8 Stages of Staying Up All Night
Now with 100% more anxious crying in the library!
[click to see rest]

The 8 Stages of Staying Up All Night

Now with 100% more anxious crying in the library!

[click to see rest]

(Source: College Humor)

Please Don’t Shame Students In Library
They didn’t say anything about jumping on them.

Please Don’t Shame Students In Library

They didn’t say anything about jumping on them.

(Source: College Humor)

Can Men and Women be Friends Survey

The short answer is no and the long, incorrect answer is yes.

(Source: College Humor)