Yo, Please Gimme a Letter of Recommendation [Click to continue]

Let’s be professional about this. 

I Think This College Might Be Catfishing Me [Click for more]

You can never be too sure what college you’re applying to.

An Open Letter to Hollywood from the Orphans of America [Click for full letter]

We’re not murderers! Not all of us, at least.

An Open Letter to People Who Write Open Letters on the Internet 

Dear People Who Write Open Letters on the Internet,

Stop. Shut up. You aren’t charming and I hate you.

Let’s start with the obvious. Most people will agree that the most annoying thing about your open letters is the gall of your presumption that everyone reading is automatically in total agreement with you. Like just because they stumbled upon something you wrote on a website, they’re gonna back up your obnoxious opinions! It’s ridiculous, right?

And let’s not forget the sheer audacity of expecting that people looove your glorious prose so much that they’d be honored to read something you write that isn’t even directed at them. I bet you use really poetic language too. Yes, we’re all clamoring for the chance to push our metaphorical glass against the wall of your mind to listen in on the glistening brain nuggets you dole out into our outstretched beggar’s hands. Pathetic.

Oh, and that’s another thing- you always act like you’re just remembering additional complaints in the middle of your letter, instead of carefully planning when to deploy them. REALBELIEVABLE.

Which reminds me, that’s another thing that’s terrible about open letters: something about the form seems to invite you, the author, to just toss around caps lock willy-nilly as if the reader is already sympathetic to whatever stupidly emotional thing you’re feeling in the moment. I hate it! FUCK CAPS LOCK!! 

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The Most Confusing College Response Letter [Click for more]

So… wait, did I get in or not?

Harshest College Rejections [Click for more]

Quendelton doesn’t have time to tell you why you’re not worth their time.

Harshest College Rejections [Click for more]

Rejection can cut into you like a knife, and sometimes twists it too. 

The Letter X Pulls Sponsorship of Sesame Street [Click for full memo]

I just don’t know if Sesame Street is the best representation of our brand. 

Polygamist’s Love Letter [Click to continue]

“Despite the loosening of sexual restrictions in recent decades, open relationships and cheating remain highly stigmatized. However, focusing on the problem of cheating distracts us from focusing on the problem of monogamy…When every cell in [one’s] body is craving sex with someone else, monogamy begins to feel like sexual incarceration.”
-Eric Anderson, Ph.D., via Huffington Post - Full Post

A Memo from the Hogwarts Office of Admissions
“You see, at most schools — normal schools — it is the students’ responsibility to come to us if they are interested in matriculating.

Honest Apology Note

Sharing is caring. Too bad I DGAF.

(Source: reddit.com)

Thank You Letter to Jewish People

L’chaim lo mein.

Heartfelt Break Up Letter

It was one hell of a month.

(Source: humortrain.com)

Possibly the Worst Name of All Time

Mr. and Mrs. Shitler should be ashamed.

(Source: reddit.com)

Accurate Love Letter Written by 6-Year-Old

I’m so happy someone finally understands why I got all my teeth removed.

(Source: c-lassy)