Work Sucks: Tornado Warnings Don’t Apply To Assh*les

I’m a security officer and work in a big office building. One night we received a tornado warning so I then evacuated the 85 employees that were still there down to the shelter. I then patrolled all three floors to look for anyone who may have not heard the evacuation announcement. I found one guy in his office who refused to leave stating “Those procedures are for hourly employees and I am busy so please shut my door.” I made two more attempts to get him to the shelter, letting him know that if hes not following procedure that he’s free to go home as I can’t legally hold him in the building however I let him know that should he choose to stay he must follow company procedures regardless of payroll status. He told me to get off my power trip and get out of his face. I went down to the shelter mere seconds before the roof was starting to cave in. When it was all done, I went up to check on him and he fallen to the floor and his desk was laying on top of his cold quivering wet body. He had the balls to then ask me for help.

- Anonymous

Have you dealt with any quivering pussies lately at work? If so then let’s embarrass them together. Send your work sucks stories straight to our Tumblr. 

Work Sucks: I’m Allergic To Oxygen

Welcome to Work Sucks, the column where you get to complain about your most terrible, lousy, soul-sucking jobs. In this issue, we’ve brought you more of the best of your worst work stories from the past year. If your job sucks even worse than this, submit your story at the bottom of this page.

I work at a nursing home. This one old lady got a new roomate who need oxygen on all the time. She asked one day what the noise was, referring to the oxygen machine, I told her what it was and she responded with “oh, that’s why I haven’t been feeling well lately, I am allergic to oxygen.” I didn’t even know how to respond to this.
- Anonymous

I work in a restaurant and saw my boss use the grill scraper to clean shit off the floor. He then used it on the grill without cleaning it…in front of customers.
- Anonymous

Today’s Tumblr Submission comes from: monimonster123

Customer walks up to customer service desk.
Me asking politely: “How can I help you, sir?”
C: “What do you think I want, a hamburger?!”
I work in a hardware store. My job is to answer customer questions, connect customers with employees from each department, supervise the cashiers, ring people up, answer phones, and do exchanges and returns.
Kinda shocked, but still polite, Me: “Umm…so a return?’
Glaring at me, C: “Yea”.
I quietly return his item.
Bluntly, C: “Call your manager.”
I call. My manager arrives, and he and the customer go outside the store and stand in front of my window. The customer complains about my service, all because I asked how I could help him.
Customer leaves and my manager walks back in.
Manager: “Can you believe that guy? He told me exactly what he said to you. Some people…”
I handle many complaints at the store, and most people that complain are just grumpy assholes, but few are stupid enough to tell the truth.

Submit your crappy work stories straight to Tumblr. 

The Closer You Get to Graduation

Congraphulations!

This Guy Had One Job To Do On Every Movie Ever

Jurassic Park crewmember Phil Tippett’s credit has amused the Internet for a long time, but few realize how many other movies he’s played a part in.

Work Sucks: Slapped By A Sweet Old Lady [Click for full post]

On weekends I volunteer at an old folk’s home. On my second day working there, I was greeted at the entrance by the friendly dog that belongs to the home. I walked in with in with him and noticed a sweet old woman in a wheelchair beckoning me over. I smiled and asked what I could do for her. She slapped me and said, “I told you not to bring dogs in the house, bitch.” Lesson Learned: Never judge a book by its cover. Because even a sweet looking old lady in a pastel pink sweater can slap you and call you a bitch.

- Becka S

I worked at a Baskin Robbins for a year, dealing with the shittiest owner ever. He constantly made me work 8+ hour shifts by myself without a break and broke several other labor laws. I never confronted him because money is money and I needed the job. Today I was fired because last Sunday, a day i had requested off, i was scheduled to open, but didn’t since it should have been covered. Well guess who just call got off the phone with BR headquaters, the health department, and the family lawyer regarding serveral health and labor law violations? Yeah, better lawyer up bitch.
- Anonymous

Does work suck for you too? Submit your stories straight to our Tumblr and let the world know.

Work Sucks: Butts Make the Best Headrests

If work is ruining your life too then tell the world! Submit your story to our inbox and you could be published in the next issue. 

I was in the office relaxing in a chair. I leaned my head back and thought to myself, “Wow, what a comfy headrest.” Then I realized, that chair didn’t have a headrest. I had been leaning head against my cute co-worker’s ass for 2 minutes and she never said a thing.
- Anonymous

Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won’t accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it.
- Anonymous

I just got fired for not working on my vacation.
- D.S. 

In this issue, we’ve brought you more of the best of your worst work stories from the past year. 

How to Get Hired By Seeming Like a Serial Killer [Click for more]

Welcome to Work Sucks, the column where you get to complain about your most terrible, lousy, soul-sucking jobs. In this issue, we’ve brought you more of the best of your worst work stories from the past year. If your job sucks too then submit your story to us on Tumblr and it might be featured in the next column.

I work for Comcast as an installer, one of my duties is disconnecting cable. I disconnected a guy on Superbowl Sunday right before the game, I could see his living room with a flat screen set up and cars lining the street for a party. A minute before kick off, I pulled the wire, before I could get down the pole, the guy comes out with a gun shooting at me. I got the hell out of there and called the cops. - Anonymous

So some kid kept on asking her mom to get her candy while I was at work today. When they came by to check out, the mom asked me, “You are so skinny. What do you eat usually?” I answered, “Spinach. Lots of spinach.” The look on her kid’s face was priceless. - Anonymous

I work at a restaurant where we pass out pagers when your food is ready. A mother and young boy ordered their food and the boy kept reaching up. The mother handed him the pager and said “He always enjoys playing with my vibrator.” My eyes got wide as I tried not to laugh. Then she said “uh I mean buzzer thingy” and made a bee line for the drink station. - Anonymous - Continue reading

Work Sucks: The Best of the Worst [Click full  read]

Welcome back to Work Sucks, the column where you get to complain about your most terrible, lousy, soul-sucking jobs. In this issue, we’ve brought you the very best of your worst work stories from the past year. 

My raise over the past two years has been a total of 11 cents. - Anonymous

I have been an AP physics teacher for around six years. I thought I was a pretty good one at that. Almost none of my students failed, and I thought I was pretty nice. Until I found a facebook group specially made to hate me. Almost every student I have taught has joined the group. And to add more, the principal , and some other staff have joined it. - Anonymous

I sell crocs. - Anonymous

If your job sucks even worse than this, submit your story here.

5 Potential After-College Jobs for Unskilled Graduates [Click for job description]

It’s hard to find a job after college. You’re applying here and there, and no one’s biting. But it’s not your fault. Employers are only looking at the skills you don’t have. The fact of the matter is the business landscape of today is already dated and you’re more suited for the job market of tomorrow. Apply your unique skill set in one of these in demand fields today!

The Lady on the New York Driver’s License Sure Gets Around

She’s a Real Estate Agent in Louisiana, a Hindi to English Interpreter, and a Farmers Insurance Agent, among other things. Obviously, she’s a very busy woman. See what else she’s been up to.

Ad Convinces You Being a Bus Driver is the Best Thing Ever

Plus everyday you have the privilege of interacting with charming, friendly customers!

(Source: reddit.com)

The Pope’s Exit Interview Questionnaire [Click for full post]

This morning, Pope Benedict XVI shocked Catholics around the world by announcing that he would resign at the end of this month, making him only the second pope in history to do so. Surprisingly, there is in fact protocol for these things.

What is your primary reason for leaving?

Offered new employment.

What additional reasons contributed to your leaving?

• Old age
• Wanted change of pace/vacation time
• Workplace frustrations (limitations of the Apostolic See, lack of general upkeep of my cathedral the Archbasilica of St. John Lateran)
• Toxic work environment (Craig)

What was most satisfying about your job?

• Being preserved from the possibility of error
• Authority over the Sacred Magisterium as spiritual successor to St. Peter the Apostle
• Bagel Fridays

What was least satisfying about your job?

• Lack of benefits / opportunity for advancement
• Dealing with my pope hat, widespread sexual abuse scandal, etc.
• Co-workers (Craig) [Keep Reading]

You Need to Hire This South Korean Guy Because Look at His Cover Letter

Finally, the last piece of the puzzle to my bank robbery dream team.

(Source: Gawker)

Jerry Head Receiver

Best. Job. Ever.

How to Live Life on Expert Mode [Click for more tips]

Turn your office into YOUR OFFICE.