Humor Us - Staff Jokes

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At the Pearly Gates

Angel at Podium: Next!

The line moves up. A man steps forward.

John: Hi there.

Angel * referring to a large book *: Jonathon Robert Curtis, born May 1st, 1982 in Dallas, Texas. Is all of that correct?

John: Sounds right to me.

Angel: It says here that you died while saving both orphans and puppies from a burning building. How noble.

John * shrugs *: The fire department was taking too long to get there.

Angel: You pray regularly for others, you attend church most Sundays, and your infringements on the Ten Commandments only amount to occasionally swearing, ‘God dammit.’ Overall, you’ve lived a very good, albeit too short life. Everything appears to be in order…

John: Great! I can’t wait to get in there! I mean, you always wonder who you would want to meet in Heaven and…

Angel: Woah woah woah. Slow it down there, cowboy. We haven’t even checked your Facebook yet. [Keep Reading]

The Most Epic Nativity Scene In Existence

That’s ridiculous! Counselor Troi wasn’t a virgin.

(Source: reddit.com)

If Twitter Existed During Famous Historical Speeches [Click to continue reading]

10 Last-Minute Halloween Costumes [Click to continue reading]

Ecce Homo Jack-O-Lantern

Never let an old Spanish lady near your Jesus pumpkin.

(Source: reddit.com)

Luke Skywalker Gets Baptized

Darth Vader is more like a Joseph figure.

(Source: christiannightmares)

Jesus Loves You Spongecake

well that’s one way of converting people…

Botched Ecce Homo Jesus Painting Costume

May you let derp into your heart.

(Source: reddit.com)

Last Supper at the Beach

Summer 2012 was awesome guys!

Ecce Homo Face in Coffee

It’s a sign from a poorly restored God.

(Source: thesochillnetwork.com)

The Troll [Click to continue reading]

Elderly Woman Tries to Touch Up Painting of Jesus, Fails

She really got Jesus’ nose perfect.

(Source: cesbor.blogspot.com.es)

Wine Labeled “Water”

Jesus was at the supermarket.

(Source: College Humor)

Parachute Snagged on Statue of Jesus

And the lord reached out his hand, and the man said, “Can you put me down now?”  

(Source: College Humor)