Wake up and smell the genius!
"Pan, I need to cook single serve omelets with you." "I know."
We invented a new super-simple, super-stupid, yet oddly amusing new Wikipedia game: "It Truly Was The Greatest Wikipedia Game".
All you have to do is add this specific sentence to the end of any Wikipedia entry, save it, and take a screengrab (you can send us your own examples right here on tumblr!) We’ve already done 20 of them.
The Comfort Wipe - ”Being a big guy has it’s advantages. And it’s disadvantages.” This commercial is gross for the obvious reason — it wants to sell you a product that lets you wipe you asshole if you can’t reach (or don’t feel like reaching). But, in case you didn’t get the picture, it also forces you to listen to a random dude tell you about the bowel movements he can’t reach because he’s too “big” or “they” are too big, or something else I don’t want to hear about, ever, thanks.
Had a bad idea? Probably not as bad as the rest of these
Over the years, Beer companies have attempted to improve your drinking experience with several half-assed “improvements” to their cans and bottles; and while wide-mouthed cans and cold-activated logos are nice, they don’t exactly scream “CONSUME ME AND ONLY ME FOR THEREST OF YOUR PATHETIC LIFE.” As such, I propose these actual alcoholic innovations to make drinking beer even more fun than it already was.
The Uroclub - Someone actually thought this product was a good idea? How many people need to pee in the golf course bushes that this product is relevant? Is this a club that you PLAY with, despite it being filled with piss? The questions are infinite. And even though they provide a towel so you appear to be innocuously cleaning your club instead of PEEING IN PUBLIC or possibly SOMETHING ELSE, it’s not like it’s the most inconspicuous thing ever created. This product reeks of, well, piss, and a poor sense of… everything. There’s 7 more equally if not more disgusting inventions you need to see.
The Invention Of Dancing [Click for full history]
Man’s greatest feat will get you off your feet.
Disagree with these opinions? Ok! Vote on what you think is the best movie invention here.
Why does everything have to be so hard?
8 Genetically Modified Foods I Wish Existed [Click to watch]
In Rosie's world, you could have had a little watermelon with lunch today.
See? Being alive in 2013 IS cool.
So much more convenient than eating a slice of pizza with your hands like a normal human being.
TLDNR: 3 More Inventions to Change the World [Full Post]
Fathand Salsa Jar (courtesy of Mike Trapp)
What’s the worst part of eating salsa? Sharing it. But there’s nothing we can do about that, so we have to address the second worst part of eating salsa: Salsa Wrist. This problem affects 100% of salsa eaters and is a result of lazy jar design and your inability put salsa in a bowl instead of scooping it out of the jar. When the salsa level in the jar gets so low that you’re forced to plunge your hand ever deeper into it, your wrist will inevitably make contact with the walls of the jar. It’s like trying to get the funny bone out of the guy in Operation: impossible not to make contact with anything but every ounce of your concentration. This has resulted in billions of salsa-stained shirt cuffs or, worse, wrist skin cells freely mingling with what’s left of that spicy black bean and roasted corn salsa rojo. Enter the Fathand Salsa Jar! Using patented “flower pot” technology, the Fathand Salsa Jar is wider at the top than it is on the bottom. Not only will this create a larger dippable surface area but it will eliminate the scourge of Salsa Wrist. [Keep Reading]
By the way, if you have a fun invention you don’t mind giving out to the world, email it to me at Streeter.Seidell@CollegeHumor.com and I’ll include it (with credit, of course) the next time I post one of these.
Most of it goes over my head, but luckily, all of it went into my mouth.