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Why It Motivates You: Hopefully someone already explained this one to you a while ago…
How It Works: It’s like a normal alarm, only it’s shaped like your favorite erogenous zone, and instead of turning it off with a button you…like, do sex stuff with it…? Alright, I haven’t really worked all the kinks out of this one, but trust me, when I can figure out how to make it not disgusting, it will sell.
Finish reading —> 5 Alarm Clocks That Would Totally Motivate You to Get Up

Why It Motivates You: Hopefully someone already explained this one to you a while ago…

How It Works: It’s like a normal alarm, only it’s shaped like your favorite erogenous zone, and instead of turning it off with a button you…like, do sex stuff with it…? Alright, I haven’t really worked all the kinks out of this one, but trust me, when I can figure out how to make it not disgusting, it will sell.

Finish reading —> 5 Alarm Clocks That Would Totally Motivate You to Get Up

Why It Motivates You: Though it mostly goes unsaid, perhaps the greatest thing motivating our lives is the knowledge that, one day, our lives will end. The average person will live for less than 30,000 days. Do you really want to waste the little time you have in bed?

How It Works: Bring the burning anxiety of your inevitable demise from the back of your mind to the front with an alarm that’s not so much an alarm as it is a lighter glued to clock, and placed near a pile of oily rags. Once that bad boy goes off, you’ll have mere moments to go and separate the two before the rags go up in flames, speeding up your march into oblivion. You’ll never think of the saying “You can sleep when you’re dead” the same way again.

Finish reading —> 5 Alarm Clocks That Would Totally Motivate You to Get Up

Why It Motivates You: Not all motivators have to be negative. If our country’s ongoing obesity epidemic is any indicator, the prospect of having something tasty to munch on is one of the best way to get us up off our fat asses. Think about it. If you smelled bacon cooking from the next room over, would you ignore it? Of course not. You’d drop what you were doing and immediately go investigate it because that’s human nature.

How It Works: Though most of us aren’t lucky enough to have someone wake us up with the smell of sizzling bacon wafting from the kitchen, we are lucky enough to live in a golden age of food laziness, and have easy access to technologies that can easily approximate such a lovely scene. Using food delivery services like Seamless as a template, the food alarm would have you floating out of bed like you’re a cartoon dog that’s just gotten a whiff of a pie. Just place your order and the time you want to get up, and the next morning, a delivery man will greet you with a bag full of deliciousness, instantly transforming you into a morning person.

Finish reading —> 5 Alarm Clocks That Would Totally Motivate You to Get Up

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