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SWEET MOTHER OF GOD! There’s a cockroach in your house!

I don’t know what vengeful deity you’ve offended to deserve this fate, but now you have to deal with it!

WHAT WILL YOU DO?

1. Panic.

2. Invite your neighbor over, then have him kill it.

3. Muster your courage and kill it yourself.

4. Move out of your house.

There will be barf.

The 6 Most Annoying Drunk People at your Party

The Man. The Myth. The Amateur DJ.

Finish reading If Characters from Greek Mythology Existed Today

There will be barf

Finish reading The 6 Most Annoying Drunk People at your Party

Caldwell and Nathan each draw their own weapon of choice on this week’s Morning Drawfee.

The Man. The Myth. The Amateur DJ.

Finish reading If Characters from Greek Mythology Existed Today

It’s twists inside twists inside twists!

The Craziest Russian Soap Opera You’ve Never Seen

And you thought your internship was bad.

Finish reading The Only 6 Summer Internships That Are Worse Than Yours

It’s twists inside twists inside twists!
Check out The Craziest Russian Soap Opera You’ve Never Seen

It’s twists inside twists inside twists!

Check out The Craziest Russian Soap Opera You’ve Never Seen

1. Ariel Goes On A Bunch Of Failed Dates With ‘Finance’ Mermen

At the start of The Little Mermaid, 16-year-old Ariel (!!) is already jaded by her underwater surroundings and is desperate to roam the earth with the humans, and instantly falls in love with a Handsome Prince after seeing that he has a dog, a statue of himself, and isn’t a direct asshole in the 4 seconds she’s around him. But why is Ariel so immediately-infatuated with Eric and completely uninterested in her own species?

There’s an answer: The original cut of the film actually included a 15-minute “dating montage” where Ariel reluctantly goes on dates with a series of lame sea dudes, including a ‘Finance Merman’ who spends a the whole dinner explaining shell-trading, a seahorse from Flounder’s intramural softball team (who’s not bad just kinda non-talkative and boring), and a recently-divorced marlin who doesn’t get any of Ariel’s early-80s cultural references.

Next up: 101 Dalmatians - Cruella de Vil Hires Two Goons Who Are Totally Cool With Slaughtering Puppies

5 Incredible Disney Deleted Scenes That Explain Everything »

What’s more refreshing than diving into a swimming pool? Diving into alcohol that tastes like a swimming pool.

Finish reading 5 New Cocktails for Summer

Summer fashions to keep you COOL in more ways than one.

Finish reading 5 Summer Clothing Innovations We’d Actually Use

5 MORE!

Finish reading Internet Commenters in Day-to-day Life

Spoilers: they’re just as annoying as they are online.

Finish reading Internet Commenters in Day-to-day Life