So you’re graduating from the four-year orgy of overindulgence we call college and moving on to the grueling existential crisis that is adulthood. Congrats! The party may be over, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend the next forty years of your life drowning in a vast, inescapable sea of student loan debt and lolcat forwards. Here’s some advice for making the jump from someone who’s been there.
![How to Write Bestselling Erotic Fiction [Click for all your “How To” tips]
Erotic fiction is all the rage these days — and if you’re anything like me, your first response to this trend is, “No thanks,” and your second is, “But wait — can I cash in on that?!” Well, you are in luck! I am here to tell you that writing high-quality smut is as easy as I heard you were in high school. Tramp.
There are several important guidelines to follow when writing straight-up filthy filth for the masses. Keep these simple points in mind, and in no time at all you’ll be on board the gravy train that is the growing erotic fiction market. Just don’t think about the gravy too much. Let’s get started.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/2e3b23a11f071d14d3eff3253a9f2301/tumblr_mlayvxSP6t1qasthro1_500.jpg)
How to Write Bestselling Erotic Fiction [Click for all your “How To” tips]
Erotic fiction is all the rage these days — and if you’re anything like me, your first response to this trend is, “No thanks,” and your second is, “But wait — can I cash in on that?!” Well, you are in luck! I am here to tell you that writing high-quality smut is as easy as I heard you were in high school. Tramp.
There are several important guidelines to follow when writing straight-up filthy filth for the masses. Keep these simple points in mind, and in no time at all you’ll be on board the gravy train that is the growing erotic fiction market. Just don’t think about the gravy too much. Let’s get started.
The Pet Care Manual for Your Drunk Friend
If you’re a good boy we can get you a treat at Wendy’s.
Find out if he needed to be neutered the next day.
Video: How to Build a Ball Pit in Your Living Room
Now there’s no need to scare all the kids at Chuck E. Cheese.
How to Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch:
Step 1: Count your chickens. Step 2: Count the total number of eggs laid by your chickens. Step 3: Add the total number of eggs to your total number of chickens.
How To Make Your Bed and Lie in it:
Step 1: Make Bed.
Step 2: Lie in that motherfucker.
How to kill two birds with one stone:
Step 1: Find a decently sized rock.
Step 2: Drive to pet store that sells birds.
Step 3: Take rock and kill one bird in pet store with it. (Because their wings are clipped, they won’t be able to escape)
Step 4: Using same rock, kill a second bird.
How to Shoot Fish in a Barrel: (It’s Easy!)
Step 1: Purchase a barrel.
Step 2: Drive to pet store.
Step 3: Be denied entry because the last time you were there, you killed two of their birds with a rock.
Step 4: Drive to different pet store.
Step 5: Purchase several fish.
Step 6: Put fish into barrel.
Step 7: Purchase shotgun.
Step 8: Shoot fish.
How to Pay the Piper:
Step 1: Hire a Piper to get rats out of your city.
Step 2: Watch as he succeeds.
Step 3: Pay him for doing his job so he doesn’t kidnap your children.
The proper way to make this stately mixed drink.
Some people are cat people. Others are bloody hands people
(Source: youtube.com)
You’ve got the power.
Spotlight: HowToBasic - The Messiest YouTube Channel [Click and find out why]
Nobody does “how to” videos (like this one for pizza-making) better than the guy who shows you “how not to.”
(Source: youtube.com)
