“I’ve heard some pretty bad jobs on here. But I don’t think anyone can top standing in a gorilla suit in 105 degree Arizona weather while waiving a sign around announcing 50% off your second ticket at the local zoo. The kicker: I made about $6.00 an hour.”
Boxing is really hard on the body…unless you’ve studied dance.
The 12 Days of Internet Christmas [Click to read full article]
Almost Reading: 10 Secret Body Parts You Didn’t Know You Had [Click to continue]
Well, we all kind of knew about Moms’ hands.
“My boyfriend and I decided to cook dinner together one night. We both love spicy food so one ingredient in the meal was “inferno banana peppers” he had grown in his garden that summer. Both of us chopped up some of these peppers for the meal and thought nothing of it. Later that night we started fooling around and he started using his hands on me..you know, down there. Well, if you think residue from inferno peppers burns your mouth, imagine what it does to the sensitive skin of a vag… Thankfully we’re super comfortable with one another and after the immense pain subsided we got a good laugh but anytime we cook with those now, we use gloves!”
The Troll [Click to continue reading]
Ken M is an internet commenter who brings a uniquely moronic perspective to the issues of the day. Fueled by a winning combination of ignorance and confidence, Ken’s insights range from the painfully dumb to the soul-crushingly stupid.
“I waitress in a local restaurant that a lot of much older people frequent. One afternoon a man came in and ordered mashed potatoes with his sandwich. When I brought out his food, he took one forkful of the mashed potatoes and complained they weren’t hot enough. I obligingly took the plate back and put his mashed potatoes in the kitchen microwave for thirty seconds. Still, the mashed potatoes didn’t satisfy him. Annoyed, I threw the potatoes back in the microwave for 6 minutes. They were scorched around the edges and bubbling. I knew I probably shouldn’t have brought them over but I did. To my shock/horror, the man dug into the molten mashed potatoes and ate them without wincing. He tipped me double the tab.”
Brian and Owen team up in possibly the most epic rap battle that focuses exclusively on the topics of global warming and energy efficiency that you’ll ever see.