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5 Terrible Love Stories from Facebook

5 Terrible Love Stories from Facebook

(Source: College Humor)

We’re getting some awesome Text Mess submissions to our new uPick feature. 
See more

We’re getting some awesome Text Mess submissions to our new uPick feature. 

See more

(Source: College Humor)

How Growing Up Stole Christmas [click to keep reading]

(Source: College Humor)

Honest Shopping Mall Map: Holiday Edition
Suddenly, returning presents today doesn’t seem like a great idea.

Honest Shopping Mall Map: Holiday Edition

Suddenly, returning presents today doesn’t seem like a great idea.

(Source: College Humor)

 
Merchandising FTW

And for his work on the “Let It Snow” Tree Skirt, the Menards’ Merchandiser of the Year Award goes to…

Merchandising FTW

And for his work on the “Let It Snow” Tree Skirt, the Menards’ Merchandiser of the Year Award goes to…

(Source: College Humor)

Portable Stripper Pole
Let’s hope those dollar bills stay in while she’s dancing on the highway.

Portable Stripper Pole

Let’s hope those dollar bills stay in while she’s dancing on the highway.

(Source: College Humor)

Santa Sneaks Up On Crying Babies
Kris “The Kreeper” Kringle strikes again.

Santa Sneaks Up On Crying Babies

Kris “The Kreeper” Kringle strikes again.

(Source: College Humor)


The 10 Ornaments on Your Christmas Tree

2. The Child Made One
Where it came from: A Kindergarten classroom
 Where it goes on the tree: The back, deep in the back
 What’s always said while it’s being hung: “Aw, remember this one?” Then, moments later, “How does this thing still have glitter to shed? I’m gonna be covered in this for days.”

[Keep Reading]

The 10 Ornaments on Your Christmas Tree

2. The Child Made One

Where it came from: A Kindergarten classroom

 
Where it goes on the tree: The back, deep in the back

 
What’s always said while it’s being hung: “Aw, remember this one?” Then, moments later, “How does this thing still have glitter to shed? I’m gonna be covered in this for days.”

[Keep Reading]

(Source: College Humor)

The Honest Holiday Card Song

Sing a song of sadness.

(Source: College Humor)

Family Holiday Photo With Guns
Looks like grandma’s not too happy with Lil’ Billy.

Family Holiday Photo With Guns

Looks like grandma’s not too happy with Lil’ Billy.

(Source: College Humor)

9 Family Christmas Party Cheat Codes
[click for more]

9 Family Christmas Party Cheat Codes

[click for more]

(Source: College Humor)

The 8 Kinds of Christmas Cards

4. The Aggressively Religious One
I don’t know if it’s possible to save the soul of someone during the 15 seconds it takes to read a greeting card, but they’re certainly going try. Within this card’s peaceful exterior lies a barrage of religious quotes, information about Jesus and so very many prayers. Hey-when someone says they’re praying for you, do you have to pray back? Why do you need so many prayers in the first place? Maybe you like the life you’re living. I mean who needs Eternal salvation when you have Xbox Live? It’s like, stop judging me God. F*ck it, pass the egg nog.

[Keep Reading]

The 8 Kinds of Christmas Cards

4. The Aggressively Religious One

I don’t know if it’s possible to save the soul of someone during the 15 seconds it takes to read a greeting card, but they’re certainly going try. Within this card’s peaceful exterior lies a barrage of religious quotes, information about Jesus and so very many prayers. Hey-when someone says they’re praying for you, do you have to pray back? Why do you need so many prayers in the first place? Maybe you like the life you’re living. I mean who needs Eternal salvation when you have Xbox Live? It’s like, stop judging me God. F*ck it, pass the egg nog.

[Keep Reading]

(Source: College Humor)

Dear Santa, One Blumpkin Please
Some elf out there is not going to have a merry Christmas.

Dear Santa, One Blumpkin Please

Some elf out there is not going to have a merry Christmas.

(Source: College Humor)


The 8 Kinds of Christmas Cards

2. The Extensive Family Newsletter
A lot of things can happen over the course of a year and they’re going to share every single one of them with you. Promotions, vacations, and brief forays into taking a pottery class are described with thoroughness usually reserved for Faulkner novels. How many pages is this thing? Two pages is too many pages to feign interest in a 6th grader’s soccer season. And baby Katie’s favorite subject this year is math? Bullshit. Katie help set the table for Thanksgiving and that girl can’t count for shit.

[Keep Reading]

The 8 Kinds of Christmas Cards

2. The Extensive Family Newsletter

A lot of things can happen over the course of a year and they’re going to share every single one of them with you. Promotions, vacations, and brief forays into taking a pottery class are described with thoroughness usually reserved for Faulkner novels. How many pages is this thing? Two pages is too many pages to feign interest in a 6th grader’s soccer season. And baby Katie’s favorite subject this year is math? Bullshit. Katie help set the table for Thanksgiving and that girl can’t count for shit.

[Keep Reading]

(Source: College Humor)

Cat Takes Family Christmas Photo
And the family dog took this one.

Cat Takes Family Christmas Photo

And the family dog took this one.

(Source: College Humor)