Work Sucks, I Know: Issue #62

I work as a loss prevention investigator at a retail store (stop shop lifter’s). One day my boss and I attempted to stop a woman for stealing $140 worth of merchandise ranging from clothes to candles (all of which she fit in her purse somehow). Anyways, as we tried to stop her but she refused to stop. She just kept walking and walked into the grocery store next door. I went to inform the other stores LP of the situation and my boss continued to follow the woman to the bathroom, where the woman locked herself.

Meanwhile the police were contacted and I waited outside to explain the situation to the officers. Once the officers arrived we walked back to the bathroooms to meet up with my boss. Turns out the woman had shit her pants while attempting to flee us. The woman panicked when she realized that there were two cops waiting outside the bathroom and tried to flush the merchandise she had stolen. The worst part was she didn’t flush the mess first. All of the merchandise was pulled out of the toilet and put into a plastic garbage can which i got to take back to our store and sort through the shit and toilet paper covered merchandise. It wasn’t all bad though, after the cops finished questioning her they paraded her down the sidewalk next to a crowded parking lot in handcuffs with a shit stain on her pants back to my office so I could do my report and questioning.

Read more of this week’s best stories

(Source: College Humor)