So you’re graduating from the four-year orgy of overindulgence we call college and moving on to the grueling existential crisis that is adulthood. Congrats! The party may be over, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend the next forty years of your life drowning in a vast, inescapable sea of student loan debt and lolcat forwards. Here’s some advice for making the jump from someone who’s been there.
Choosing the Right Pair of Sunglasses for Your Level of Cool [Click for more]
Stoner or Pilot: Aviators
Getting high and operating an aircraft are two very different things, but both require gigantic lenses to prevent anyone from seeing just how awesome or terrifying you think everything is.
The Loser’s Guide to Looking Like You’re Having Fun at Concerts [Click for full post]
Concerts: a fun way to enjoy music, a chance to spend time with your friends, and if you’re sort of a loser like me, the worst possible thing ever that a person could do.
If you’re a good boy we can get you a treat at Wendy’s.
Find out if he needed to be neutered the next day.
A Comprehensive Guide to Prank Channels on YouTube [Click to see]
In honor of April Fool’s Day, here is our comprehensive, categorized guide to Youtube Prank Channels, because the true joke was you thinking you were gonna get any work done today: Continue
What Are Millennials?: A Millennial Guide to a Millennial World [Click for more]
A Millennial breaks down what it means to be real and true and beauty and young.
Step 1: Find a decently sized rock.
Step 2: Drive to pet store that sells birds.
Step 3: Take rock and kill one bird in pet store with it. (Because their wings are clipped, they won’t be able to escape)
Step 4: Using same rock, kill a second bird.
How to Shoot Fish in a Barrel: (It’s Easy!)
Step 1: Purchase a barrel.
Step 2: Drive to pet store.
Step 3: Be denied entry because the last time you were there, you killed two of their birds with a rock.
Step 4: Drive to different pet store.
Step 5: Purchase several fish.
Step 6: Put fish into barrel.
Step 7: Purchase shotgun.
Step 8: Shoot fish.
Step 1: Hire a Piper to get rats out of your city.
Step 2: Watch as he succeeds.
Step 3: Pay him for doing his job so he doesn’t kidnap your children.
Hello! I’ve recently noticed that I get extremely out of breath and sweaty while folding my laundry, so I’ve decided to join a gym. However, I’ve never really worked out before. Can you help me get started?
No problem! First things first: you’re going to want to stop eating that Pop-Tart.
But it’s chocolate fudge!
Just put it down for now. It will be here when you get back.
I don’t know. My roommate’s kind of a jerk.
Trust me. Now, what kind of exercise do you want to start with: aerobic or anaerobic?
Would you rather run for a really long time without ever actually going anywhere or pick up a bunch of heavy things and then almost immediately put them back down?
Oh! Hmm…those both sound pretty stupid. Are there any other options?
Ok. Then I guess the heavy things one.
Great. Let’s start with your deltoids.
Just sit down at that black machine with all the leftover sweat on it.
No problem. Hey, wait a second.
What’s wrong? Continue
Roses are red, violets are blue, but there are a lot of other flowers in the world, so you should look them up.
8 Touchdown Dances for Other Situations [Click for more dances]
Dance like the Ref isn’t watching.
NOW What’s Happening to My Body: A Puberty Guide for 20-Somethings [Click to continue]
How to Reverse a Gypsy Spell [Click to continue reading]