Use this wild guide to take your sex life to a whole new level of insane intimacy
Finishing reading this step-by-step guide while you wait for inspiration to strike.
1. Get psyched. Spring cleaning! Here we go! You’re a grownup!
2. Well, not even a grownup can clean without music. Maybe you should just make a fun playlist real quick before— NO. No distractions. Cleaning.
3. Okay. First things first. That huge messy pile of papers and mail on your desk.
4. Wow, you really don’t want to go through all those pieces of paper.
5. Just, uh…make the huge messy pile into a smaller, slightly tidier pile.
6. Whoa. There was so much dust under those papers. How is there this much dust in your room? Where is it COMING from? HOW???
7. Sweep up shocking amounts of dust into a dustpan.
8. Notice the line of dirt created by the gap between the floor and the dustpan.
9. Sweep that up.
10. But now there’s another line.
12. Eh, that’s good enough for your room. Time for the kitchen!
Click for MORE: An Honest Guide to Cleaning Your Apartment
(Source: College Humor)
This was written by the same person who did “How to Talk to Your Friend About Being a Cat Lady”.
[click for more fucking tips or whatever]
Finish the 6 MORE STEPS on
How To Get Nothing Done: An Illustrated Guide [Click to finish me off]
Honest Hairstyling Tutorial [Click to start]
Hey everyone, I’m back. I’ve been getting a ton of requests for a hair tutorial, so this is it. I’m gonna show you my blow-dry routine for a straight and smooth hair style.
I’m gonna do a separate video for my other go-to style, “Greasy tangled ponytail because you pressed the snooze button instead of showering again,” so look for that tutorial soon. For this one, we start with a shower! Continue
Though fun, and rewarding part of the collegiate experience, college a cappella can be a nightmare of nuance for the uninformed student. Even choosing which groups to audition for can be its own ordeal if you’re not sure what to look for. Here are some hot insider tips that’ll put you on the fast track to instrument-free success:
- Often, groups will run open houses or meet-and-greets before auditions, and if you can successfully pretend to be a member of the group, there is no state or federal law requiring you to ever stop.
- Every group has its own traditions, like signature songs, year-end beach trips, drowning a freshman, or drowning a couple of freshmen. Plan to be drowned.
- Any group that performs in goofy hats or sings a semi-ironic rendition of Mulan’s “I’ll Make A Man Out Of You” is an absolute wellspring of fun and creativity and should be pursued relentlessly.
- Some schools have a few more whimsical groups, like “pirate” a cappella groups that hijack other groups’ performances, or “sexual predator” a cappella groups that lie in wait in the dead of night.
- Some groups are steeped in decades of history, like the Yale Whiffenpoofs or the Harvard Krokodiloes. If this is intimidating, just remember: nobody cares a bit. Not even the tiniest fucking bit.
- Your audition is your one chance to introduce yourself, so make sure you pick a song that reflects YOU! If you’re fun-loving and relaxed, try the Pokemon theme. If you’re boring, how about the Pokemon theme?
- Three words: cry a little. - finish reading
Complete Guide to Summer Music Festivals for Newbies [Click for full description]
Who knew having fun was so complicated.
How to Cure a Cold in 10 Easy Steps [Click for all steps]
“Even though we have Verizon Fios, which has a guide built right in, my parents insist on using the channel guide in the newspaper and reading it out loud to each other so they can decide what to watch.”
A Guide to Summer Migratory Species [Click to continue reading]
“I was a tour guide at a cave when I was in high school. Many times, fathers in my tour groups would feel insecure about being under the watch of a teenager and would ask stupid questions like “What if I touch this formation?” or “What if I fart in the cave?” just to throw me off. As often as I felt appropriate, I’d respond with, “Well then we’d all die…” and then I’d turn the lights of and scream. I didn’t get tipped much.”