“One day i looked over at my girlfriend and she quickly put away her phone; i jokingly asked “[haha] who were you texting your other boyfriend[mischievous smile]”…”

“I have this one friend I talk to, he has a girlfriend and everything yet he always comes to ME when he is down and depressed. Which I don’t mind being that friend, but everyday its the same thing and when I try and ask him something it’s “Don’t worry about it” or he does the whole “I know -hugs-“. I fucking hate -hugs- and its after everything. I could tell him that I like to eat shit and it would be -hugs-. Always “Mhm -hugs-“. And it gets into elaborate -hugs and snuggles into you then look up and blinks- First of all, I have a boyfriend. Second of all I am not a 13 year old girl. Third of all man the fuck up already. Jesus.”

“My best friend and her boyfriend were dating for three weeks and taking it slow. They were making out and unexpectedly he got a hard-on and jizzed all over her pants. Needless to say she was uncomfortable and he was embarassed. They’re not dating anymore……”