He’s got a license to kill within the agreed-upon multiplayer rules.
Illustrated by Caldwell Tanner
Written by Caldwell & Dorkly Editor-In-Chief Andrew Bridgman.
- At the load screen, tap the K Star six times in a row to skip right to being spotted by a Big Hollywood Agent who wants to make you a Big Hollywood Super Star.
- At the character select screen, swipe down, then left, then left again to gain 5000 Social Media points and a write-up on a some blog calling you an “Instagram Celeb.”
- Tap the Hollywood sign twelve times to up your Star Rating by fucking a photographer at the Torque premiere.
- When talking to the VALET PARKING GUY outside Kim’s perfume launch party, TIP TRIPLE to get four free Speedballs and an exclusive invite to McG’s forty-fifth at his Venice fuckpad.
- When Jake (the Journalist) asks you out, instead of tapping “Sure!” or “Let’s just be friends”, scroll left, then right, then left, then right, then up, then down to gain 100 Love Points and instead get martinis with Chez, a guy who “did some consulting on SAW VI” and “can definitely get you your own reality show, hundo percent.”
BONUS: To up your Star Rating, sign whatever he hands you. That way you can skip all the hard shit.
- When out shopping with Kim, shoplift. It saves Money and increases your Style Points. Plus, whatever, it’ll be fine.
Finish reading Cheat Codes for the Kim Kardashian iPhone Game
Skype Level 48 is a live, epic game-off where Jake & Amir battle it out on Xbox One. Skype is their only way to contact the outside world.
Play along & help decide the winner by adding Team Jake or Team Amir on Skype & voting on who gets helped or hindered. To see more visit skype.com/level48
FINISH (spotting) HIM!
You gotta pay to play.
Fun for the whole snooty family!
Finish reading 6 Board Games for Spoiled Rich Kids
34 people need to stop day-drinking.
1. To increase realism, characters can text while smashing their cars into each other.
2. Luigi’s vehicle won’t start unless he blows into a little tube and gets less than a 0.02.
3. A lot of new items with which to destroy other drivers, such as fireballs, a boomerang, and passive-aggressive comments.
4. While coins were also collected in SNES MarioKart, in this game they are to be used properly after each level in investing in sources of passive income, learned from the mandatory, in-game “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” seminar.
5. Heated seats, dual seatback DVD players, and keyless entry. All come standard.
Finish reading 10 INSANE New Features in Mario Kart 8
Three girls reveal more than they thought they would.