Just after my girlfriend and I had some really hot sex, the fire alarm in her apartment building began screeching. That night we learned how fast the two of us could get dressed. Well…mostly dressed. I’m sure nobody noticed right? - Anonymous
I was having sex with this guy on his bedroom floor and got my period and it stained the carpet. I was too embarrassed to own up to it, so I convinced him that there must be something wrong with him because he came blood. He then spent the rest of the month freaking out because he thought his dick was broken. Little did he know, it was just my lady business. Sorry, not sorry. - averageandboring
Girls, an (useful) advice from a girl who’s boyfriend is a nerd: Give him a blowjob when he’s gaming! Seriously, the look on his face is priceless and he’ll be thankful. I promise! ;) - Riiwii
My girlfriend and I were about about to have sex when she said “Get in my belly”, I asked what said not quite believing what I had heard and she repeated “Get in my belly”. Needless to say it’s hard to be turned on when your girlfriend is impersonating Fat Bastard. - Anonymous
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