Ever thought Sherlock and Watson would be the perfect couple? Well, millions of teenage girls on Tumblr have.
There’s nothing better than laughing at the flagrant stupidity of a stranger on the Internet, but keeping up with all the stupid people on the vast deserts of forums, websites, and subreddits can be exhausting. Luckily, several Twitter accounts have arisen to compile the very best of these oblivious poets into simple, easy-to-read text posts. Here’s a few of our favorites.
All of these tweets are taken from ACTUAL POSTS ON THESE WEBSITES.
The 5 Best Twitter .TXT Accounts [Click for all]
There’s weird, and there’s Tumblr weird.
Excerpts from my John Boehner Cross-Over Fan Fiction [Click to continue reading]
Speaker John Boehner wasn’t going down without the last word. “I’m afraid we’ve got more Covenant on the way,” buzzed the Cortana AI. The Master Chief was already on it, jumping into the swarm of Brutes with his rifle blazing white-hot. An Elite made the charge toward Boehner, but the Ohio public servant’s impressive torso – sculpted on the Moeller High Football Field – deflected every attack before unleashing an assault of his own with the Springfield Rifle it was his God-given right to carry.
“Thanks for the assist,” quipped the stoic Spartan as he and Boehner mentally fist-bumped. Cortana quickly cut in, “No time to rest boys, we’ve got to reach the United Nations Space Command before…” Boehner held up his hand with a well-earned air of authority, “The UN!? You seriously put the United Nations in charge of the space army?” The silence said it all.
“Aliens are not the problem here! The only real way to save humanity is to reduce this bloated space government and its uncontrollable, unsustainable spaceship spending.” The Master Chief looked deep into Boehner’s eyes, sensing both the conviction and righteousness of his fellow super human’s cause. The chief reloaded his shotgun. “It’s time to put our fiscal house in order.” [Keep Reading]
Interview the Internet: On Harry Potter Fan Fiction [Full Post]
In “Interview the Internet,” Jamie Schuh investigates the sub-cultures and unique characters that populate the strangest corners of the Internet.
What do teen girls do alone in their bedrooms? Look up chloroform recipes? Kiss their Justin Bieber posters are whisper “tomorrow you will be mine?” Yes, probably, but also teen girls are writing fan fiction about boys kissing each other. Not all of them, sure, but a lot of them. A friend of mine, who we will simply call “L,” because she has a grown-up job and life now, was writing sexy Harry Potter stories a few years ago, mostly about the series’ male characters rubbing their wands together (a few selections are still online here). On a quest to find out what was so titillating about wizards humping each other, I sat down with L to ask her about her secret life as a fan fiction writer. Here we go!
CH: So, I know you got your fan fiction start with the world of ‘N Sync, everybody’s favorite tousled-hair-and-matching-velour-tracksuit boy band. I once had a sexy dream about Joey Fatone, so I sort of understand the hormones aspect. Who wouldn’t want to write about getting into a hot tub with Justin Timberlake? But what got you into slash (the term for stories about dudes boning down on each other)?
L: Yeah, I was introduced to fan fiction through the ‘N Sync message boards and fan sites. The stories were chiefly about a Mary Sue character magically getting to know Justin and falling in love. I don’t remember a lot of the fan fics from that period, but I remember FictionLyn. She was the E.L. James of ‘N Sync fandom, and I was banned from her message board for arguing with other fans over her merits. My fourteen-year-old self was not here for boring, unoriginal stories. So, enter, slash fan fic. I don’t know how it happened, but one day it seems I just decided I would rather read about JC fucking Justin than about Justin fucking some dumpy girl he picked out of a crowd at a concert. [Keep Reading]