It was later uncovered Gisselle was walking so slow because she ate too much pizza with Esteban. Case closed.
(Source: theclearlydope)
Calendar Of Excuses For Why You’re Fat [Click to continue reading]
Now you don’t have to think of a reason.
“I worked at a popular franchise restaurant and came up with some of the greatest excuses known to man or woman for being late. Of the best was one day when I came in for a shift and had missed the 8 am meeting. The manager came to me and said “You’d better have a damned good reason for missing the meeting the morning.” I told him with a straight face ” Sir. I woke up this morning duct taped to a lawn chair. It took me to 9 to work out of the tape. I got here as soon as possible.” The guy never looked at me the same again.”
25 Possible Reasons Why No One is Going to See Your Band
5. Six of your last six concerts have ended in cod liver related oil fires
6. You demand to know from each member of the audience whether “the curtains match the drapes” before you begin every show
7. Maybe people would consider coming to your shows if you didn’t have that freakishly huge Adam’s apple
(Source: College Humor)
Honest Late Paper Excuse - Click to view full size
“My friend sent this (true) e-mail to her professor in a fit of finals hopelessness. I’ll just say it did not help her cause.”
(Source: College Humor)
